NBB: Wedding and a Funeral
by hangman005
Summary: The 9th story of the series sees Alex with another complication which will stretch him to breaking point. The wedding of of his dad and Abigail soon become overshadowed by the funeral you never expected. And what happens next will shock you even more. NEW CHAPTERS UP R
1. Further Complications

Alex struggled in the hospital, the doctors found a serious problem that they had somehow missed. When Alex began complaining of a severe pain in his lower body the doctors checked and found Alex had fractured his back and broken his hip.

This meant Alex would have to endure a couple of hours of painful rehabilitation exercises each morning to be able to function properly, but they said it would heal, but it would take around a year.

They assumed that when Nat had inadvertently beat Alex, he hit with such force that it caused the complications.

Alex leg and foot had finally healed and Alex had began to process of walking a little a bit. It was a month after the concert and Alex had been discharged. They spent one more night in Vancouver before they caught an early morning flight to New Orleans.

It was 5am and they had packed almost everything the night before.

"Morning Alex," Mr Wolff said as he gently shook Alex awake.

Alex fumbled around as he slowly woke up. He was not a morning person, and with the rehabilitation exercises he had to do he hated them even more.

Mr Wolff helped Alex do the exercises when Alex was awake enough to begin. He could see that they caused Alex immense amount of pain, but he didn't yell out. By the end of the exercises and Alex had begun crying, he usually did.

"I hate this, dad," Alex sobbed, feeling numb but still extremely sore.

The sun was up and it depressed Alex to think that he would have to do this for another year, and the side effects of the massive concussion left him exhausted well before dinner time and no one could say when this would end.

"I know Alex, but I think you are so strong and brave for doing it," Mr Wolff said tenderly giving Alex a hug.

It didn't take long before Alex was better, but always seemed to be the same. After two hours of the pain and Alex was usually feeling down, but he usually rebounded fairly quickly..

Nat and Abigail came in, they had awoken and got a bit of food for them to have on the shuttle to the airport. Simon and Paula and both returned to New York, but Simon called Alex everyday, he didn't feel that Alex had gotten everything off his chest, and he would stay on Alex's case for at least ten months.

Juanita had only returned to New York the day before. She felt a bit bad, she wanted to be by Alex's side the whole way.

"Morning Alex," Nat said to his brother, he felt nothing but guilt after all he was partially responsible for doing this to Alex.

"Hey Nat," Alex responded. He wasn't yet in the mood to be talkative.

"We got everything ready, so once Alex is dressed we can go," Abigail said softly.

Mr Wolff nodded.

"Do you need help or are you ok?" Mr Wolff asked quietly, sometimes Alex was in too much pain to dress himself, and although he found it a bit embarrassing sometimes his dad or Abigail would help him dress.

"I think I can manage," Alex said quietly.

"Ok, see you in a couple of minutes." Mr Wolff said with a slight smile.

Alex managed to dress himself without too much pain, and walked tenderly to the others.

They all went downstairs to the waiting shuttle and boarded it.

Hours later and they touched down in New Orleans, they were last off the plane, and Alex was feeling very stiff again, so Mr Wolff forced Alex to do another half an hour of the exercises, and thankfully the airline staff were very supportive.

The exercises were as painful as ever and Mr Wolff made a mental note to get Alex up and moving every three hours or less to stop Alex having to go through it again.

"Dad, why do I have to do these stupid exercises," Alex asked again as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"So you can move. if you didn't you'd become bedridden and after a year it would be a lot more painful and tough than it is now," Mr Wolff explained once again, "I know it's painful but if anyone is strong enough to get through it, it would be you."

Alex groaned as they slowly walked into the busy terminal.


	2. Welcome to New Orleans

Onita sat at the table with Little Grace and Big Ella. They had a brand new house built for them, but still enjoyed eating outside.

"Is Alex really coming today!?" Big Ella asked excited almost jumping up and down on her seat.

"Yes Big Ella," Little Grace said a bit exasperated. It was the tenth time she had asked that question that day.

"Now Big Ella, I know I've told you a hundred times. But you have to be gentle with Alex. He isn't well and still extremely sore. I don't want you dragging him around everywhere," Onita warned.

The rest of the band were camped in a large room at the end of the house. They had in fact been awake for hours and had been rehearsing a song they had all written for Alex. They wanted it to be perfect.

They heard Big Ella scream excitedly.

"I think they are here," Thomas said needlessly.

"I hope he likes it," Rosalina said nervously. She had suggested it but they were all thinking the same thing. They knew music was both Alex's and Nat's language.

Outside, Onita, Little Grace and Big Ella went forward to great them.

Nat came out walking slowly beside Alex. Alex was extremely nervous and that wasn't a feeling he was really used to.

"ALEX!" Big Ella screamed running for him.

"Be gentle Ella," Onita called.

Ella slowed down a little and gave Alex a hug.

"Hey Big Ella," Alex said softly, he was feeling exhausted already and it wasn't quite yet noon.

"Can I hug you tighter?" She asked seriously.

"Ok," Alex said quietly.

"How are you Big Ella?" Alex asked softly, he was still getting used to how easily exhausted he got. He didn't know how he would survive at school.

"I'm so happy to see you. I'm sorry you got hurt," She said sincerely.

"Thanks," Alex said quietly, but personally he felt hurt was an understatement.

"Did you get the card I sent you?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, it was sweet, Thank you," Alex said too exhausted to care if he sounded sincere.

Big Ella smiled and let go of Alex.

Onita and Little Grace spent that time greeting Nat, Abigail and Mr Wolff.

Little Grace gave Alex a big hug.

"You are the strongest person I know. If I can do anything to help you I will," She said crying a little. Hearing what had happened to Alex both times in Vancouver was very difficult.

Alex winced in pain.

"Could you lift you're foot?" He asked.

Little Grace was a bit confused but did so, and Alex sighed with relief.

"You were standing on my foot," He finally admitted.

"I'm sorry Alex," Little Grace said shocked, she felt bad being the first to hurt Alex.

"It's ok, waking up hurts more," Alex said referring to the exercises he had to do.

Little Grace gave a little grimace, she couldn't tell if Alex wanted he to laugh or not.

She stopped hugging him and Onita finally had her turn.

"Your mom would be so proud of you," She said and she too greeted Alex with a hug, but also with a kiss on the check.

"Yeah," Was all he could say.

"You ok Alex?" She asked softly, they weren't quite expecting Alex to be so lethargic.

"He's just exhausted, it takes a lot of energy just for him to do normal things," Nat informed them, he wanted to save Alex some spare energy.

"And that's on top of the rehabilitation exercises he has to do every morning," Abigail added, they both hoped Alex would be able to make it through the concert next week and the wedding the week after.

"Well, I'll take you to the band, they've missed you," Onita said not wanting to hold up Alex.

"Do you want me to get the wheelchair out?" Mr Wolff asked quietly.

Alex didn't want to show weakness to the band or Big Ella for that matter.

"No, I can manage," He mumbled.

Mr Wolff sighed, he didn't think it was good for Alex to over exert himself too much.

Nat walked with Alex while Big Ella tightly clung to Alex's hand and led the way. Because Big Ella was considerably shorter than he was, she caused him pain as she dragged him. But Alex did let the slightest inclination show that he was in pain, he tried to hide it the best he could.

Onita, Little Grace, Mr Wolff and Abigail all followed.

Big Ella dragged him inside and to the room the band were staying in.

Alex sighed in relief as Big Ella stopped dragging him, he wished she would let go, as he will still in pain, but he was to proud and didn't want to hurt her feeling to say anything.

The band saw Alex before he saw them and began playing the song and singing together.

_We are by your side,_

_We will always be with you,_

_You have always been so strong,_

_So now we want to be strong for you_

_You have been hurt so bad,_

_Time and time again,_

_We just wanted you know_

_You don't have to suffer on your own._

_We will help you up if you fall,_

_We will take the weight of your shoulders,_

_We will share your burden around,_

_We want to make things fair._

Alex silently cried as they played the song. So did Nat, Mr Wolff and Abigail.

"See, I told you the band was still here for," Nat said softly to his brother.

Alex smiled lethargically. He loved the song, it was so reassuring for him.

"Just so you know Alex, we meant what we sung," Cooper said who had bravely played the sax even though he sucked, despite the band working tirelessly to try and make him good.

"Thanks, you guys. You don't know how much it means to me," Alex said softly.

They all came over and gave Alex a hug, and Alex really appreciated it even if he was too tired to really say it.

"Alex, you look absolutely shattered," Rosalina said to Alex as she hugged him.

Alex didn't respond. But he saw his dad and Onita talking.

"Alex, Onita already has your bed ready, so you are going to rest," Mr Wolff told Alex, he knew if he gave Alex the option he would have declined.

"Big Ella, let Alex go, he's exhausted and needs to sleep," Onita told her.

Big Ella let go, and Alex stumbled after his dad and Onita.

They led him just up the hall, to another large room with a double bed. Alex lay down on the bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow he fell asleep.

They didn't linger, and immediately went and got the gear out of the rental car. Mr Wolff made sure he was very quiet as he first brought Alex's suitcase in to his room, and then when he brought Alex's wheelchair into the room.

They then went into the dining room for lunch.


	3. Settling In

"Alex is perhaps too strong for his own good." Abigail said as they began eating the sandwiches Little Grace and Big Ella prepared.

"He should have gone in the wheelchair," Nat said.

"He's not having a choice, after his sleep, he's going in there. I'm not going to put him through another load of those exercises today." Mr Wolff said.

"So why did Alex refuse the wheelchair, he was fine in Vancouver." Abigail asked.

"He knows Big Ella idolizes him and doesn't want to seem weak in case he lets her down." Nat supplied remembering how Alex confessed it to him.

"Would it let you down if Alex was in a wheel chair?" Onita asked.

Big Ella shook her head.

"I just want him to get better.

"Any way, we'll give you the tour when Alex wakes up," Onita said.

At three in the afternoon they had decided Alex had slept for long enough, especially if they wanted him to sleep that night.

"Hey Alex," His dad said softly as he gently shook him awake. "Time to get up sleepy head,"

Alex groaned as he woke, as was expected he was stiff again. His dad slowly helped him sit up and then carried him to the wheelchair.

Alex rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he wasn't feeling so exhausted now.

"Is it lunch time yet?" Alex asked as he continued to wake up.

"We can get you something," His dad said and pushed him out to the dinning room.

Alex looked up at the table, Abigail and Onita were catching up, they had both gone to school to with Alex's mom.

The table was too high for Alex to eat off while he was in the wheel chair. Alex found this frustrating knowing things we not designed for him being in a wheelchair. Thankfully their apartment building had a wheelchair lift as there was a disabled person living on the same floor.

"How was your sleep Alex?" Onita asked softly.

"Refreshing," Alex said quietly.

Onita smiled.

"Do you want to eat at the table outside, it should be low enough for you." She asked.

Alex nodded, he preferred that over a tray that attached to the wheelchair that made Alex feel like he was in a babies highchair.

"I'll bring something out," She said smiling.

"We'll come out there with you. Everyone else took Big Ella down to the park, to give you time to wake up and eat." Abigail said getting up.

"Thanks," Alex said softly and his dad began to push him outside.

Mr Wolff pushed him against the table and sat down beside Alex.

Alex considered being so dependent on other people the biggest thorn in his side. When he woke up, he couldn't move unless someone was there to help him. He couldn't do his exercises with out someone else. On normal days Alex required help to get dressed, sometimes completely, however since he had his dad put him diapers while in Vancouver. It was slightly more bearable.

Onita came out with a couple of sandwiches and a glass of milk, she knew Alex well, especially after talking to the band for most the summer.

"Thank you Onita," Alex said graciously before he began eating and drinking.

Alex was quickly finished, but he was still quite hungry. He burned a lot of energy in his current state, and needed to eat more to replace it.

"It's a nice house," Alex said looking at it.

"You haven't seen all of it yet, and it's all thanks to you." Onita said warmly. Alex's crusade to save the polar bears had seen 'the clauses', in Big Ella's eyes, be extremely generous when building them a new house,

Alex blushed modestly, he liked being appreciated.

"Shall we take the tour?" Onita asked.

Alex nodded and Onita led them all around the house. She then showed them the backyard, it was massive and had a good amount of trees, and there was also a hot tub.

"We haven't used it yet, your friends Alex, they wouldn't take no for an answer." Onita said smiling. "I think you should be the one to christen it,"

Alex looked confused.

"You want me to pee in your hot tub." He asked looking at Onita like she was nuts.

Mr Wolff chuckled.

"No Alex, that's leaving your mark. She means you should be the first to use it," Abigail said kindly.

"Ohhhhhh," Alex said as he understood.

"Hey! Alex is awake," Big Ella screamed running over to him.

"Nice crib huh Alex?" Little Grace asked smiling at Alex, she was grateful to Alex, she knew he wanted to pay for a new house with the Polar Bear money.

"Yeah, when can I move in," Alex said laughing a little.

Everyone was pleased to see Alex with more energy in him.

Big Ella climbed and sat on Alex's knee.

"See, I told you Santa would take care of us," Big Ella said smugly, and hugged tightly onto Alex. She didn't understand what Alex went through, just the he got hurt really bad and it would take a long time to get better.

"Did we tell you, that Alex wanted give some of the polar bear money to get us a new house?" Little Grace said looking at her little sister.

"Alex!" Ella said a bit shocked. She couldn't understand why bad things happened to such big hearted people.

"So do you think we should let Alex use it first?" Onita asked Big Ella.

"Uh-huh" She said nodding enthusiastically.

Onita had another motive for letting Alex go first. She started to study as a nurse before she followed he passion with voodoo. But she knew that relaxing in the hot tub would take a bit of stress of his body.

Alex knew of one problem, he didn't have any shorts or anything with him.

"I don't have anything to swim in," Alex pointed out.

"You wouldn't be swimming Al," Rosalina said smirking.

"You can just go in your boxers," Mr Wolff advised him.

Alex went a bit red.

"Don't tell me your embarrassed to get into a hot tub in your boxers, when you played a concert in them for the world to see," Onita said kindly.

Alex didn't say anything and didn't complain or resist when his dad took of his black papa roach T-shirt.

Alex nervously undid his belt and the button on his jeans and unzipped them.

"Alex is stripping!" Big Ella yelled out.

"Ella, Alex doesn't need to hear that," Onita said sternly.

"Just ignore her, Alex" Grace said softly.

Alex went to try and lift himself up, when his dad stopped him.

"Alex, you need to relax."

Mr Wolff then lifted Alex up from behind. Abigail came over and slid Alex's jeans down and worked them off.

Before Alex could feel too subconscious Mr Wolff walked around and picked him up and gently put him in the hot tub.

Alex felt a whole lot better as the hot water enveloped his body.

"Ahhh," He sighed gently as the temperature of the water reacted well with his body.

They all gave a smile.

"Feel good little bro?" Nat asked

"Yeah man," Alex said slowly lying back.

It made them all better to see Alex feeling better albeit it temporarily.

Big Ella ran off and got in here swimming gear. While Nat and Rosalina did the same. They came back and climbed into the hot tub. Beg Ella just sat on the side with her feet in. It was too hot for her liking.

The hot tub water soothed Alex, the stress was lifted off his body. Nat and Rosalina hugged each other while they watched Alex curiously.


	4. I'm Fine

**A/N: I am back in New Zealand so I am able to update my stories again...... although truth be told, I didn't want to leave the US.**

* * *

It was half an hour before dinner before Mr Wolff came back and picked Alex up and put him on the towel that was covering his wheel chair. Mr Wolff then wrapped another towel around Alex, and wheeled him into his room. Where he dried Alex off and changed his boxers before dressing him.

He then pushed Alex outside where everyone was waiting for him.

Once there Onita stood up and everyone looked at her. She raised her glass and everyone else did to.

"Here's to Alex and a full recovery," She said, Alex blushed modestly.

"So Alex, I have lots of things we are going to do tomorrow." Big Ella said sternly.

Alex internally groaned.

"We are going to play soccer, and hide and go seek and then we can play on the instruments…."

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Big Ella, I know you want to do a lot with Alex, but there is a lot that he is unable to do." Little Grace said, "We don't want to exhaust Alex."

Alex ate the food on the plate his dad passed him.

"Hey, little buddy. Do you want to go into town tomorrow?" Mr Wolff asked quietly.

"Why," Alex asked with food in his mouth.

"We can get you something for the hot tub." Mr Wolff said before giving a little nod in Big Ella's direction.

"Ok," Alex said pleased for an excuse to get out of being dragged around by Big Ella.

Little Grace who was sitting by Mr Wolff turned to him and asked if she could tag along.

She wanted a bit of time to be with Alex away from everyone else.

Mr Wolff nodded.

They sat and ate and talked for over two hours, but then it was eight o-clock and although Alex really hadn't done much since lunch he was tired.

Abigail pushed Alex down to his room and help him onto the bed. She helped Alex to strip down to his boxers and helped him into the bed.

"Have a good night Alex," Abigail said kissing Alex good night.

Alex feel asleep despite it being still light outside.

Alex woke at 5am. He wasn't full of energy but he needed to go to the bathroom, not desperately but enough so he couldn't get back to sleep. Alex lay in bed a bit frustrated, he wondered what he would do if his dad and Abigail disappeared. It made Alex even more depressed as he realized he couldn't do anything.

Mr Wolff came in ten minutes later.

"Hey dad," Alex said, Mr Wolff could hear the frustration in Alex's voice.

"Hey little buddy," He said to Alex and ruffled Alex's untidy hair.

"Does it annoy you that I'm so dependent on you and Abigail?" Alex asked heavily.

"No of course it doesn't Alex," Mr Wolff said, he could see that Alex was depressed again,.

"It does for me," Alex said wishing bad things never happened to him.

"Alex, I know you want your independence, I want you to have it as well. But I love you Alex, I'm here to help me no matter what time you need," Mr Wolff said sitting beside Alex and trying to hug him.

"Thanks dad," Alex said softly.

Mr Wolff then helped Alex doing his exercises. Just as the pain got too much and he started to cry Big Ella walked in.

"Alex… Oh my god! Are you ok?" She asked seeing Alex crying.

"Ella, calm down. Alex has to do these exercises to he could move during the day." Mr Wolff said softly.

"Come on Alex, only another half an hour," Mr Wolff said reassuring Alex.

Big Ella wanted to give Alex a hug.

Mr Wolff managed to hold her off while helping Alex at the same time.

Finally the half an hour was up. Alex cried as he tenderly walked to the bathroom. After finishing in there, he returned and Big Ella hugged him tightly.

"Are you ok Alex?" She asked sadly.

"I'm ok, ok Big Ella," Alex lied and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"You don't look ok," Big Ella said.

"It's fine, I'm alright." Alex lied again.

"You don't sound alright," Big Ella responded.

"Just leave it, I'M FINE," Alex shouted.

Big Ella was upset and slowly backed out of the room.

His dad looked at him, it wasn't so much an accusing stare, but one of pity.

Alex then burst out crying and his dad came over and hugged him.

"Alex, you don't have lie and pretend every things ok. We can see you're unhappy," Mr Wolff said as he comforted Alex.

"It hurts too much," Alex complained, the pain usually took about half an hour to subside, providing Alex didn't do anything to aggravate it any more.

"Alex, I want you to get into the hot tub, it will help you out, I'll go talk to Big Ella," Mr Wolff said softly.

Seeing as Alex hadn't got dressed, he slowly walked and with a bit of pain climbed into the hot tub. The moment he was in, Nat came along in a pair of shorts and climbed in next to Alex.

"Morning Alex," Nat said seeing his brother.

"Hey Nat," Alex said and moved himself over and hugged Nat.

Nat could tell that Alex was so far having a bad day.

"Alex, I'm so sorry for doing this you," Nat said hugging Alex.

"It's not your fault," Alex said quietly, for the hundredth time.

"I wish this happened to me not you," Nat said, he would rather go through the pain than to watch Alex suffer through it.

Alex and Nat just hugged each other, they had such a big bond, that some times just giving each other a hug, would do so much good. They didn't speak for ages until Alex broke the silence.

"Nat, do you think there is a god?" Alex asked as still he hugged his brother.

"I don't know… I guess so," Nat said a little of balance.

"Do you think he hates me?" Alex asked as he clung to his brother even more.

Nat could hear how insecure his brother was so he hugged him tighter.

"If there is a god, he doesn't hate you man," Nat said softly.

"Then why does everything bad happen to me?" Alex asked, he felt his brother holding him tighter.

"Us, Alex. What happens to you, happens to us. We are a family Alex," Nat said quietly.

"It happens to me more," Alex mumbled. "I don't see you breaking your back,"

Nat sighed and just kept on hugging his brother, he didn't particularly like the way Alex was talking.

Mr Wolff found Big Ella crying in her room, he went over and gently hugged her.

"Why is Alex angry at me?" Big Ella asked and she stopped crying.

"Alex isn't angry at you," Mr Wolff said softly, he suspected Alex was angry at life.

"He yelled at me," Big Ella said.

"That wasn't Alex, that was the pain." Mr Wolff explained.

"What pain?" Big Ella asked softly.

"Those exercises Alex goes through, they hurt him a lot. He has to put up with 2 hours of a lot pain each morning just to be able to move," Mr Wolff explained.

"Poor Alex," Big Ella said sadly.

"Yeah," Mr Wolff said softly. "I think Alex maybe in constant pain, he just tries to hide it, he doesn't want to scare you or anyone. He keeps too much to himself,"

"When will he get better?" Big Ella asked

"The doctors said that his back should heal in about a year," Mr Wolff replied.

"Can I go say sorry to him?" Big Ella asked.

"You haven't done anything you need to apologise for," Mr Wolff said.

"But I might be hurting when I hug him," Big Ella said.

"Hugging makes him feel better," Mr Wolff said but walked with Big Ella to Alex.

He saw Alex and Nat hugging when he got there, it made him smile a little, he knew how much Nat and Alex depended on each other.

Mr Wolff held Big Ella back, if Alex was getting things off his chest it was a good thing.

Nat looked up and saw his dad and Big Ella.

"Morning Dad, Morning Big Ella," Nat said quietly.

"Morning Nat," Mr Wolff said smiling.

Alex slowly stopped hugging Nat and moved away.

"You ok Nat?" Mr Wolff asked.

"Fine," Nat lied, but gave his father a look to say 'I'll tell you later'

"Come on you two, I think it's time to get out," Mr Wolff instructed.

Mr Wolff returned with towels.

Alex climbed out silently and grabbed a towel. He let himself drip dry, before wrapping it around himself. He then tenderly walked away.

Nat then got out and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself.

"Dad, can we talk," Nat said quietly.

Mr Wolff nodded.

"Why don't you go wake up the band, they shouldn't be sleeping on a day like this." Mr Wolff said softly to Big Ella. She didn't hesitate and ran off to wake them.

With Big Ella gone, Nat and Mr Wolff began to walk to Nat's room.

"Dad, Alex is really scaring me," Nat said quietly.

"I know he's upset, but we need to stick by him," Mr Wolff said softly.

"He's so depressed, I'm scared he'll do something stupid," Nat said, Mr Wolff could hear the apprehension in his voice.

"We'll help him out Nat, We'll help him" Mr Wolff said heavily.


	5. The Fans Love You

Alex was thankful having been in the hot tub, loosed him up more. He dried himself off and got changed. When he was done, he saw Little Grace sitting on his bed.

"Hello Alex," She said quietly.

"Hey," Alex said quietly.

"Are you ok, Alex… I heard Nat and your dad talking, they're really concerned about you." Little Grace asked as Alex came and sat down on the bed beside her.

"It's just so hard." Alex said frustrated, "There was so much I wanted to do this year…. And now I can't…"

"Awwwww Alex," Little Grace said softly and put her arm around Alex and hugged him.

"I was going to go skating with Juanita all the time, and now I can't because I get exhausted to easily, and the hurting never stops," Alex said softly and tears began running down his checks.

Little Grace hugged Alex tighter. She had never put any thought into what Alex did for the rest of the year.

"Alex, I know she is your best friend, she'll understand," Little Grace said.

"It's not that, I want to be out there doing things. I want to be active…. I can't even do gym." Alex sniffed.

"Alex, I know you'll find away to keep active," Little Grace said, she could see how disheartening the year looked for Alex.

Alex felt a bit better.

"Do you want to get some breakfast?" Little Grace asked him.

"Yeah, maybe some food will help," Alex said softly standing up.

Little Grace watched him walk for a few seconds before following him.

An hour later and they had finished breakfast. Alex got a little better as he ate.

"You seem a little happier now bro," Nat said to Alex.

"Yeah, I just wish things weren't so hard." Alex said not looking at Nat

Alex slowly finished breakfast, he saw Little Grace and his dad, put Alex's wheelchair in the car.

Alex stood up and walked over to the car. He sat in the front seat, and Little Grace got in the back.

Once they were Mr Wolff started the car and began driving.

"So Alex, are you ready for the concert next week?" Little Grace asked, she remembered how devastated Alex was when their concert was cancelled last time.

"I don't want to do the concert anymore," Alex said softly.

"What? Why?" His dad asked him.

"You enjoyed the concert in Vancouver," Little Grace said quietly.

"Because none of the fans will like me, because I have a broken back and will suck," Alex said staring at his feet.

He imagined all his fans who he imagined were disillusioned and now hated him because he was weak.

"Alex, the fans love you. They support you. I'm going to have to get you a new phone because so many fans somehow got the number, and it has been ringing off the clock." Mr Wolff said

He had held onto Alex's phone since Alex was in hospital, and because Juanita was still there, he didn't have a massive need for a new one… but Mr Wolff thought talking to Juanita would cheer Alex up a lot.

Alex wasn't convinced, and his dad could see it.

"Mr Wolff, turn left up here," Little Grace said quietly.

Mr Wolff obeyed and they drove half a mile down the avenue. They came across a massive billboard, in prime advertising real estate.

"New Orleans Loves Alex Wolff!" The billboard read, and had a couple of pictures of Alex on. One with him in his wheelchair, and the other when he was in his Polar Bears suit before the Santa incident

Mr Wolff stopped the car, in the middle of the road so Alex could look at it. People honked there horns as they drove around them.

"See Alex," Little Grace said. "A lot of people here, donated money to put these up for you,"

The billboard made Alex feel better, seeing that he wasn't hated because he spent a lot of time in a wheel chair.

Mr Wolff heard a quick whirl of sirens as a Police car pulled up behind him. The cop fingered his weapon but didn't draw it as he semi cautiously approached the car.

"Is there a problem?" The officer asked.

"We wanted to show Alex the billboard," Mr Wolff said gesturing to the billboards.

The officer glanced quickly before looking inside the car again. He saw Alex looking at the billboard, he could see he was touched by the gesture.

"Alex, Good luck man," The officer said.

Alex looked at him and said thanks. Before turning back to the billboard. It wasn't fancy but it gave Alex a feeling that he couldn't describe.

"Take as long as you need, I'll divert traffic until you leave," The officer said kindly, before making sure that traffic was merging smoothly into the single lane.

"Why did they do it?" Alex asked after ten minutes.

"The people love you Alex, you are such a symbol of strength. You might not know this but despite everyone's difference what happened you brought everyone together. The first time a lot of people held vigils, cities stopped for you. It happened again the 2nd time. You have given everyone a new perspective Al, and I think if you ran for president today…. You would win." Little Grace said softly, it was a lot like the response during 9/11.

Alex felt a whole lot lighter, he didn't feel so bad now.

Mr Wolff called out the window and thanked the officer, before driving off. They drove into the city before parking.

"Alex are you ok to walk or do you want me to get out the wheel chair?" Mr Wolff asked as he undid his seatbelt.

"I think I should be fine," Alex said, "…..I hope."

"Ok Alex," Mr Wolff said softly and they all got out.

"Dad, I want a hat. I don't want everyone bugging me," Alex said as a group of people walked passed and whispered excitedly.

"I don't think a hat will hide that you are you," Little Grace giggled.

Alex looked at her.

"I just want to make them think twice…. If they are unsure the might leave me alone," Alex replied.

"Ok Alex," He knew Alex wasn't ready to be bombarded by masses of screaming fans, Alex had been able to avoid that in Vancouver.

Mr Wolff locked the car and they began walking down the street. They walked down the street passing a number of shops for ten minutes before finally turning into a clothing shop.

Alex looked through the shop for quarter of an hour before he found a hat he really liked. It was a charcoal style hat, that reminded Alex of the blues brothers.

"Blues Brother styles," Alex said throwing the hat to his dad. They went and looked at board shorts but they were mostly men's sizes.

"I'm supposed to swim in the hot tub, not these," Alex said giving up after seeing there was none in his size.

Mr Wolff laughed before they went up to pay. Alex hung back so the cashier couldn't see him.

Once his dad had paid they left the shop and Alex put his hat on his head. They walked up and found a Wal-Mart. They went in and found some board shorts in Alex's size. They got a few pairs before paying.

"It's bright out here," Alex complained shielding his eyes.

Mr Wolff looked at Alex, the concussion he had suffered would continue to cause some light aversion and big headaches

"Is it bearable?" He asked.

Alex shook his head, it really hurt his eyes.

"Are your sunnies still in the car?" Mr Wolff asked.

"Yep" Alex said now completely covering his eyes with his arm.

"Little Grace would you mind running to the car and getting them?" Mr Wolff asked.

Little Grace smiled and held out her hands for the keys. Mr Wolff handed them over and Little Grace literally ran to the car.

Mr Wolff guided Alex to a bench and they say down and waited.

Little Grace was back in five minutes. She passed Alex his sunnies and gave Mr Wolff the keys and Alex's medication. She realized they would be in town a while, and she overheard her mom and Abigail talking about Alex needing his medication with each meal.

"Little Grace, you're a life saver," Mr Wolff said and smiled at her.

"Thanks Little Grace " Alex said wincing a little before he put his sunglasses on. "That's so much better,"

Both Mr Wolff and Little Grace smiled, it was pleasing to see that Alex appreciated the little things.


	6. Alexander Draper Wolff

Alex wanted to use it now, but he had to charged it first. The clerk offered to do it at the store for him. So they would need to come back in a few hours.

The walked around the mall for another 40 minutes before Alex started to complain he was feeling sore and tired.

"Sit down here with Little Grace, Alex." Mr Wolff instructed. They both sat around a table at the food court while Mr Wolff walked off somewhere.

"Grace!," A teenaged girl called out and came over.

"Hey Susan," Little Grace said, as her friend form school came over.

"How are you?" Susan asked.

"Good, doing a bit of shopping," Little Grace said. "You?"

"Can't complain," Susan responded., "Who's your friend?"

Little Grace stayed quiet for a minute, she knew Alex didn't want to be the centre of attention.

"Please keep quiet and don't make a big deal," Little Grace said quietly, Susan was her best friend and she knew she could be trusted.

Alex took of his hat for a few seconds, long enough for her to see who he was. She nearly fainted.

"Oh my god!," She said quietly and breathlessly.

"I didn't know you were in town already… or that you knew him," Susan said quietly.

Alex smiled a false smile, he couldn't be bothered trying to be sincere.

"He got in Yesterday morning, but please don't tell anyone, the last thing he needs is everyone kicking in the front door to get at him." Little Grace responded, "And Alex's mom and my mom were best friends."

"My lips are sealed." Susan said miming zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

Both girls began talking about girl stuff before Mr Wolff returned pushing Alex's wheelchair.

Alex wasn't upset about it, but he didn't want to get in it.

"Dad," Alex pleaded.

"Alex, you are getting tired, I don't want you to exhaust yourself," Mr Wolff explained.

"Everyone will know it is me, if I'm in the wheelchair." Alex complained.

Susan looked at Alex, she had been a massive fan for years and she did not know a lot about his personal side, as much as the press had tried to expose it to the world. She was usually the first to recognise him.

"Alex, I'm your biggest fan and I didn't recognise you, what chance does anyone else have?" Susan said with a reassuring smile.

Alex looked at her as though asking himself 'who asked her opinion,'

But Alex felt reassured, he slowly stood up and sat in his wheelchair.

"Mr Wolff this is my best friend Susan. Susan this is Alex's dad." Little Grace introduced them.

"Would you like to join us for lunch?" Mr Wolff asked politely.

Susan was hesitant, but she saw that Mr Wolff genuinely meant it. She reluctantly agreed, she didn't want to be intrusive.

"Alex what do you feel like?" Mr Wolff asked.

Alex was quiet for a little bit before he answered.

"Crap," He said before smiling a little.

"I know, but what specific brand of crap," Mr Wolff asked, it was comforting to see Alex making light of the situation.

Alex shrugged.

"BK?" He said unsure.

"BK it is," Mr Wolff said.

He then took the orders and walked up with Little Grace to get lunch.

Susan sat around nervously, it was strange being a few feet from someone she idolized.

"Nice hat," She finally said.

"Thanks," Alex said quietly, "I got it so people wouldn't recognize me,"

"It's working so far," She said smiling.

Alex smiled nervously, he hoped she didn't jinx him.

"So what's New York like?" She asked, she had never been there.

"I love it," Alex said, "Nat prefers LA more, he wrote a song about it,"

"Yeah I remember, I heard that the LA surfers ripped it off," Susan said.

"Yeah I hate Bobby Love… he doesn't seem so bad now," Alex admitted. "Just don't tell Nat,"

"When am I going to see Nat?" Susan asked.

"Are you not coming to the concert?" Alex asked.

Susan shook her head.

"There are no tickets left."

Alex looked at her through his sunnies.

"There is no such thing as no." Alex said quietly.

Mr Wolff and Little Grace returned a minute later with lunch.

"Dad can we get a ticket for Susan? And can she come back stage?" Alex asked.

Mr Wolff smiled and nodded before looking at Susan.

"I haven't seen Alex this excited about the concert since before the one in Vancouver,"

"I thought you'd be excited all the time," Susan said to Alex curiously.

"Let's just say it's not easy for him. He is in pain most the time and he gets extremely depressed, and these are on normal days. Bad days are much much worse." Mr Wolff explained.

"What's today?" Susan asked curiously.

Mr Wolff looked at Alex.

"No idea, it stared off a bad day, but Alex appears to have gotten better." Mr Wolff said honestly.

He then pulled out Alex's medication. There were three different pills that Alex would have to take for the year and one that he would most likely need to take for the rest of his life. He gave them to Alex.

"Have you got water or milk?" Alex asked, his dad pulled out a drink bottle from the bag attached to the back of Alex's wheel chair.

Alex took the pills and quietly ate lunch while the rest of them talked and ate.

Once they finished Susan left, she would probably swing around the house in a couple of days. Mr Wolff began to push Alex. He knew Alex wanted to talk to Juanita, and it would give him something to do while Mr Wolff completed some more shopping.

When Mr Wolff had checked his watch he was dismayed to see they had managed to talk to Susan for three hours over lunch. So they went to the cell phone shop to get Alex's phone. Mr Wolff again did everything while Alex tried to stay hidden.

The clerk was a bit confused, he didn't remember anyone in a wheelchair last time.

Once everything was sorted Mr Wolff gave Alex his phone. Alex grabbed it excitedly and his dad also gave him a piece of paper with Juanita's number on it.

Alex was so excited as he dialled it took seven tries to finally enter the right number.

"Hello?" Juanita asked cautiously on the 6th ring.

"When are you coming out?" Alex asked, now abit nervous.

"Alex, I was worried about you, I left you like a…. wait this isn't your number?" Juanita said quickly

"Dad got me a new phone, because the fans somehow got my number…." Alex replied.

"You ok Alex?" Juanita asked, she picked up on Alex's depression in his voice.

Alex shook his head.

"Alex…. If your moving your head, I can't see it, this isn't a video call," Juanita said with a slight chuckle.

"It's too hard, I think it would be better if Nat did kill me for good." Alex mumbled.

"Alexander Draper Wolff don't you dare talk like that," Juanita said angrily.

"What's the point…." Alex trailed off.

Juanita was scared and angry, she was at the skate park. She picked up her board and ran home still holding the phone to her ear.

"Alex, you have so many people who love you and support you," Juanita said breathlessly, still angry but trying to comfort Alex as well.

Juanita burst into the house. She threw her skateboard down and grabbed the home phone and dialled Simon.

She had both phones on her ears. She heard Alex's dad saying something to him and took that moment to tip Simon off.

"Simon… I think Alex might do something really, really, really stupid," She said with so many different emotions in her voice.

"Like what?" Simon asked seriously.

Juanita tried to say it, but she couldn't.

"Like what?" Simon repeated growing concerned, he was already mentally packing his bag and flying there.

"Die," was all Juanita could say in response.

"Juanita what's going on?" He foster mom asked her walking out from the kitchen.

"When can we see Alex!?" Juanita asked urgently.

Juanita mom could see this was serious.

"We could leave tonight ," Her mom said back.

Simon rattled of a number of instructions before he hung up.

"Juanita, do you wonder what it would be like to die?" Alex asked quietly.

"Alex, don't you dare. Me and mum are coming as soon as we can," Juanita said.

Alex sighed heavily.

Mr Wolff looked at Alex. He heard a couple of things which unnerved him. He thought talking to Juanita would cheer him up, but he was a depressed as ever.

Mr Wolff's phone rang.

"Dad, what's going on?" Nat asked, he was on the verge of tears.

"What are you talking about?" Mr Wolff asked softly.

"Simon is talking to Abigail, he's coming out today and Juanita and her mom are doing the same, They said Alex was very depressed." Nat said.

Mr Wolff didn't know what to say.

Alex talked to Juanita even as she and her mom waited at the airport. Which is when she hung up.

Mr Wolff, Alex and Little Grace had been out all day.

"Alex, how are you feeling?" Little Grace asked, she had heard everything Alex had said.

"I'm Fine," Alex lied

Little Grace looked at Alex sceptically.

"My back really hurts," Alex said winced horribly in pain.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Little Grace asked, that might have been part of the reason why Alex suddenly sunk so quickly into another patch of depression.

"Because you and dad were so interested in shopping." Alex said wincing.

"Come on Alex, lets get back home," Mr Wolff said and pushed Alex to the car.

Everyone was silent as they made the trip back.


	7. Hurt By Those You Love

Abigail was waiting when they pulled up and Little Grace slunk away.

"Alex, we are going to talk," Abigail said worried.

"Ab, let's let him get in the hot tub, he is really sore." Mr Wolff said.

"Ok," Abigail said and followed Alex as he slowly walked. He felt uncomfortable as she watched him change into the board shorts. He then climbed up into hot tub.

Big Ella came over she missed having Alex over.

"Not now Big Ella," Mr Wolff said softly.

Ella was going to complain but Onita quickly came and took her away.

"What's the matter Alex?" Abigail said softly.

"Nothing," Alex lied.

"Alex please don't lie, you don't have to deal with this yourself. We are here for you," Abigail said softly.

Alex didn't say anything.

"You scared a lot of people today," Abigail said softly.

"How?" Alex asked.

"Juanita thought you sounded suicidal," Abigail said softly.

Alex started crying.

"I didn't mean too, It's just it would be so much easier on everyone if I died," Alex sobbed.

"Hey, no it wouldn't. We love you too much," Abigail said bending down and hugging Alex.

Alex hadn't forgotten what he had seen today, but he couldn't help but notice how he tied everyone down.

Alex hugged Abigail for half an hour.

Alex stopped hugging Abigail and got up. He got out of the hot tub and grabbed a towel. He dried himself off and walked to his room. He undressed and climbed into bed. Before Abigail could even make it there Alex was fast asleep.

"Dad is Alex going to be ok?" Nat asked as he ate dinner with his dad.

"I hope so. But we have to keep a very close eye on him" Mr Wolff said softly.

"What's wrong with him?" Nat asked.

"Alex thinks and feels so much, and it builds up inside of him, because he doesn't pass any of his burden on. Alex will have massive mood swings as different moods reach breaking point. Unfortunately today was depression," Mr Wolff explained.

"How can we help him if he won't let us?"

Mr Wolff didn't know how to answer that.

It was just before 8pm when Simon, Juanita and her foster parents arrived.

Juanita went off to find Alex. She saw him in the room, he was just waking up.

"Hey Juanita," Alex yawned happily.

Juanita was still angry like she was before. She couldn't control herself as she walked up to Alex and smacked him in the face. Once she realized what she did she ran away crying.

Alex sobbed. Not only did his best friend just hit him, but he was helpless again. He put his hand up to his face and felt blood.

Nat found Juanita crying.

"What's the matter?" He asked warmly. He knew Alex would love having Juanita around.

"I just hit Alex," Juanita sobbed, she never intended on ever hurting Alex.

"You what?" Nat asked shocked.

"I was angry, he really scared me on the phone… and I hit him," Juanita sobbed.

Nat could see that Juanita wasn't coping, he knew Juanita loved Alex too much for her to ever want to hurt him.

"Come on, we should go and see him," Nat said trying to drag Juanita along.

"No Nat, I need to calm down, I don't want to hit him again," Juanita sobbed.

It was at the moment Rosalina walked back from the bathroom.

"What's going on?" She asked seeing Juanita crying.

"Juanita hit Alex… can you look after her while I check on Alex," Nat said hurriedly. He didn't wait for an answer but took off very quickly to Alex's room. He could her him sobbing from outside the room.

"Hey, Hey Alex, It's ok." Nat said softly as he walked in. He saw Alex had a cut above his eyebrow and had a massive lump. He knew that where Alex's had been hit was prone to bleeding.

Alex sobbed and took his hands away from his head, the blood dribbled into Alex's eye but he didn't pay attention.

"It's not ok. I knew you all hated me," Alex sobbed

Nat went and sat by Alex.

"Alex no one hates you." Nat said softly, he knew he would not be able to be reasonable with Alex until he had calmed down.

Nat tried to put pressure on Alex's head, but Alex slapped his hands away.

"I'm going to get some ice," Nat said quietly, he left Alex knowing Alex wouldn't be able to go anywhere.

Nat walked out to the dinning room.

"Onita do you have some ice and a facecloth?" Nat asked quietly.

"Why?" Onita asked warmly.

"Juanita hit Alex, and he's bleeding pretty bad," Nat said.

"I warned her to be careful," Juanita's foster mom said.

"Come on Laura, we both know she didn't mean to," Juanita's foster dad said standing up.

"I'll get the ice and cloth," Onita said walking off to find it.

"Where is he?" Juanita's foster dad asked.

"You know what to do?" Nat asked as began showing him the way.

"I'm an EMT" Juanita's foster father said.

"Thank you John," Mr Wolff said he watched Nat and Juanita's foster father walk away.

Nat led John to Alex's room.

Alex was softly holding his head in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Hey Alex," John said softly.

Onita came in a short time later with the ice and cloth.

"Alex can you move you hands so I can have a look?" John said softly, gently moving Alex's hands away.

Alex winced as John felt the affected area.

"You're a bit of an egg head aren't you?" John joked as he grabbed the cloth and applied pressure to the cut.

Alex gasped in pain as John applied pressure.

"Stop being funny," Alex complained trying not to laugh.

"Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?" John asked grinning.

"Both" Alex moaned trying harder not to laugh.

Nat and Onita watched interested, John had a knack for making people feel better.

"Not to worry, your not the only guy Juanita's beaten up, she does me weekly," John joked again.

"Don't, it hurts when I laugh," Alex complained laughing.

"You know Alex, you making difficult to keep pressure on you cut." John said.

"No you're making it hard," Alex responded.

John held the cloth on the cut for another few minutes until he was satisfied the bleeding had stopped.

He then grabbed the ice pack and put it on Alex's head.

Alex gasped again.

"That's cold," Alex moaned.

"It's probably why it's called an ice pack," John said.

"Your enjoying this aren't you?" Alex pretended to sulk.

Nat started to get a bit tired and walked towards the wall the lean on it.

"Can I have something to eat?" Alex asked while wincing as John continued to hold the ice to Alex's head.

Nat missed the wall he was aiming for and landed on the floor embarrassed.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ow ow ow" Alex said wincing as his head hurt as he laughed.

"Alex, only you would think of food at a time like this." Nat said slowly getting up.

"Was a knuckle sandwich not good enough for you Alex?" John joked.

"If that was a knuckle sandwich then Juanita has the worst aim…." Alex said softly.

"Alex!" Juanita said looking at him laughing a little.

John gave Juanita a compassionate look.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't mean to hit you," Juanita said softly.

"I deserved it," Alex said softly.

Rosalina looked at Alex with scorn.

"Alex, you know damn well you didn't. You can't help getting depressed." She said frustrated.

"How do you know?" Alex asked aggressively.

"We had someone talk about it at school," Rosalina said. "And Simon told us,"

"I hate this! Ow!" Alex said frustrated.

"I know, man," Nat said quietly.

"How do you know? Your not going through it!" Alex said aggressively.

"Calm down Alex," Rosalina said softly.

"WHY SHOULD I? YOU ALL PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH! BUT YOU DON'T!" Alex yelled frustrated and angry.

"Your right Alex, we don't know what it's like…" Onita said softly.

"How about you share it!?" Juanita said aggressively. She didn't know why she kept getting so angry with Alex.

Alex looked furiously at Juanita.

"Alex please don't do this," Nat said softly.

"I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!" Alex yelled.

"Please Alex, we just want to help you," Rosalina said as warmly as she could.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I'M FINE BY MYSELF!" Alex screamed.

"Fine let's go! Give us a call when you're ready to swallow your pride," Juanita said angrily and stormed out.

Everyone was stunned, Onita less so. Out of all of them Juanita was usually the only one who stood any chance at calming Alex down when he got this worked up.

Everyone looked around for about 20 seconds. The words left Nat's mouth before he realized he was saying it.

"She's right,"

Nat walked out before he knew what he had done. He walked back to dinning room and sat down. Everyone else walked out shortly after and sat around the table.

Alex suddenly found himself left alone, with no distractions he began to feel the headache his yelling had caused on top of the thumping he had received.

"My head," Alex sobbed as he begun clutching his head. He wanted to curl up into a ball but he physically couldn't do it.

"Things didn't go well did they?" Simon said softly.

No one said anything, they didn't need to.

"I'll go help him out," Simon said softly.

"No!" Nat said forcefully and Juanita gave a nod in agreement.

"Nat…"

"When he admits he needs help, then you can help him." Nat said more strongly than he felt.

"Nat you're playing Russian Roulette with your brother," Simon said frustrated.

"Didn't you say that admitting it, is the first step?" Nat asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't…." Simon said defensively.

"You're not going to get anywhere until he admits it." Nat said firmly announcing that the matter was closed.

Simon walked away angrily, no doubt to find Mr Wolff and have him convince Nat otherwise.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Juanita asked, she could her Alex's sobbing and desperately wanted to go in and hug him.

"I don't know anymore," Nat said softly.

Rosalina gave Nat a reassuring hug, just like John did to Juanita.

Despite his many misgivings Mr Wolff sided with Nat, so Simon had to wait it out. At half past ten everyone went to bed except Simon and John. They could still hear Alex sobbing.

Both men sat silently as the hours passed by.


	8. The Blame Game

"I'm sorry!" Alex finally cried out at 4 am. "Can someone help me?"

Simon and John stood up. John picked up an aspirin and a glass of water and walked with Simon into Alex.

"I'm sorry Alex, but you had to admit it." John said softly and gave Alex the aspirin.

Alex took the aspirin and washed it down with water.

"Alex you need to tell me what's wrong," Simon said seriously as he sat down on the bed.

"I've told you," Alex sobbed.

Simon suddenly found himself ready to employ the tactic he was so angry about only hours ago.

"Let's go John," Simon said and started to walk out.

"Don't go!" Alex sobbed, "I'll tell you…"

Simon sighed and sat back down.

"What's going on?" Simon asked seriously.

"I'm sick of everyone lying to me." Alex sniffed.

"Alex no one is lying to you…." Simon said softly.

"_Oh Alex your so strong_" Alex mimicked. _"You are the strongest person I know"_

"Alex they're not lying," Simon said softly.

"Yes they are! '_Oh Alex you can__'__t do that,__'__'__Oh Alex you need to rest,__'__'__Oh Alex we are just saying one thing and doing another__'"_ Alex said angrily.

"Alex we're not lying when we say that your strong…." Simon said trying to comfort Alex.

"Yes you are! I've been trying for the last four hours to move…. AND I COULDN'T DO IT!" Alex screamed and started sobbing.

"Shhhhh Alex, everyone is sleeping," John said softly.

"I don't care," Alex said quietly, "Nat doesn't care… _'__Hey Alex, look at me get up by myself and walk around everywhere because I can,__'_"

"You blame him don't you?" Simon asked, he could see that Alex resented Nat a lot.

Alex stared at his feet for 2 minutes before he gave Simon a teary eyed nod.

"Please don't tell him," Alex pleaded quietly.

"Alex, I think you need to talk to your brother," Simon said softly.

"He'll hate me," Alex cried

"Alex, your brother wants to hear what you really feel… everyone does." Simon said softly.

"Humph!" Alex said grumpily.

"Alex, we are going to have a group therapy session when everyone wakes up." Simon said

Alex was even more annoyed by this, but didn't speak.

"I'm still hungry you know!" Alex grumped looking at John.

"Alex, it's four in the morn…."

"I don't care no one gave me dinner!" Alex said, he looked as though he was about to start shouting again.

"Alex it's not our house, we can't go snooping through other peoples stuff to find you something to eat," John tried to reason with him.

"Get me food or I'll wake everyone up!" Alex said growing closer to yelling.

"Alex….."

Alex took a deep breath.

"ARRRRRRRRRGH!" He yelled at the top of his voice before either John or Simon could stop him.

Simon was annoyed with Alex as he heard the sounds of people getting out of bed.

"Alex, it's four in the morning," Juanita yawned walking in rubbing her eyes.

"I don't care! I want food!" Alex said forcefully.

"It's not my house…."

"I DON'T CARE!" Alex yelled.

"Fine, we'll see if we can find you something," Simon said annoyed and he walked out of the room with Juanita and John.

"Alex isn't a happy camper," John said quietly to Juanita.

"I wish things were easier for him," Juanita said softly.

"I know you do." John said and hugged Juanita.

"What was Alex yelling about?" Mr Wolff asked rubbing his eyes.

"Anything, everything and food," John said quietly.

"Might as well cook breakfast seeing as he woke everyone up," Mr Wolff said softly.

Abigail walked out shortly after.

"Do you want to help Alex up and I'll cook breakfast." Abigail said tiredly.

"Yeah," Mr Wolff said.

He walked into Alex's room and sat beside him. He gently stroked Alex's hair.

"Al, I want you to calm down, you've been worked up all night," Mr Wolff said softly. "Can you do that for me?"

Alex nodded quietly and let his dad hug him. He did so for quarter of an hour. His dad could sense that Alex had calmed down a lot, and only wanted a bit of comforting.

Mr Wolff grabbed some shorts and helped Alex into them, before he picked up Alex and put him in his wheelchair. He looked at Alex's face, it wasn't until he did that he remember Alex had bled last night.

He was squinting through one eye as the other was cemented shut by dried blood. Alex had a massive lump on his head.

"How's your head?" He asked quietly.

"It hurts," Alex said.

Mr Wolff wheeled Alex into the bathroom and with a wet face cloth began wiping the blood off Alex, especially around his eye.

With that done he gave Alex a singlet to put on and wheeled him out to the dining room. It was only then Alex saw that he had indeed woken everyone up.

"Morning Alex!" Big Ella said tiredly but excitedly before she came over and sat on Alex. Alex suppressed a groan as she did.

"Morning Big Ella," Alex said hugging her tightly. He was in a hugging mood.

They all had breakfast as it was cooked Big Ella sitting on Alex the whole time. Alex forced himself to eat three helpings before he was full. It was 7 O'clock when Mr Wolff wheeled Alex back into his room.

He helped Alex with his exercises before allowing Alex to have a shower and get dressed properly. Alex had just tied on a do rag when he heard Big Ella shouting.

"IT'S NOT FAIR! I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH ALEX!" She screamed before running into Alex's room.

"I want to spend time with you. But mom says that I have to stay away from you all morning," Big Ella sobbed.

"We'll have our time." Alex said as Nat walked in.

"You could make a scavenger hunt in my room for me with ……" Alex whispered to Big Ella, "But you can't tell anyone, it'll be our little secret."

"Come on man, Simon want's to get started." Nat said.

Alex put something in Big Ella's hand and stood up. He deliberately avoided looking at Nat, and walked to a room at the back of the house.

"Alex take a seat," Simon instructed as he followed Nat in. Nat had sat himself down on a bean bag.

"I don't want a seat," Alex protested.

"Come on Alex you can sit on me," Mr Wolff said softly.

Alex went and sat on his dad and his dad hugged him tightly.

"Ok, it appears there are a number of issues we need to address, it's time to be honest," Simon said quietly.

"Yeah stop lying to me!" Alex said forcefully.

"We're not lying to you buddy," his dad whispered into his ear.

"What, we haven't lied to you." Nat said looking at his brother.

Alex didn't look at Nat.

"_Oh Alex you are so strong!_" Alex mimicked.

"Alex, that's the truth," Juanita said softly. "You are…"

"A stupid weak useless loser!" Alex said angrily.

"No Alex, your not any of those," Laura said quietly. "When we say you are strong we mean it."

"If I'm so strong was someone have to help me get up in the morning? If I'm not useless why am I never asked to help with anything? If I'm so smart why is everyone always say, 'no you cant do that Alex' huh?" Alex asked looking at everyone except Nat.

"Alex…." Abigail said softly.

"What the hell am I supposed to think?" Alex asked outloud, the hurt clear in his voice..

Mr Wolff hugged Alex tighter.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't realize how much this was eating at you," Mr Wolff said softly.

"Well it is," Alex sobbed and turned and buried himself in his dads shoulder.

Mr Wolff gently took off Alex's do rag and began stroking his hair.

It made him feel bad to think that him trying to help Alex with everything was hurting him.

It took 15 minutes before Alex finally pulled himself out of his dads shoulder.

"Alex why didn't you say something?" Abigail asked quietly.

"Because I didn't want to lump anything else on you," Alex said quietly.

"Alex, you are not lumping enough on us," Nat said quietly.

Alex didn't look at him.

"Everyone bends over backwards for me," Alex said softly, "I'm sick of everyone wanting to take all my problems off me…"

"Alex we are here for you. We want to help lift some of the burden off you so you can get better," Laura said quietly.

"It's not fair, I didn't want any of this," Alex said frustrated.

"We know Alex, that's why we want to make things easier for you." Mr Wolff said softly.

"You can't make it easier, you come in and it's like _'__Look at me Alex, I don__'__t need anyone to help me get out of bed__'_" Alex said angrily shooting Nat a dark look through the corner of his eyes.

Nat caught his brothers look.

"You blame me don't you Alex?" Nat asked scared of the answer.

Everyone turned and looked at Alex. He wished they didn't.

After a few very tense minutes Alex slowly nodded.

Nat was crushed, the one thing that kept him sane was the idea that Alex didn't blame him.

"Please don't hate me" Alex sobbed.

"I don't hate you," Nat said hollowly.

"Stop lying to me!" Alex shouted through the sobs.

"You lied to me first!" Nat shouted back.

"HOW!" Alex shouted back.

"Boy's calm down," Mr Wolff said, he hated to see his sons fighting.

"You told me you didn't blame me!" Nat shouted back.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Boys. Calm down" Simon said forcefully.

Nat and Alex glared at each other.

"Settle down Al," Mr Wolff said softly.

"He broke my back and he gets to walk around like every things all normal." Alex cried.

"Alex, your brother would have rather that he be stuck with the problems you have. He hates seeing you suffer," Mr Wolff said softly.

"He gave them to me," Alex cried.

"Alex he didn't mean to… do you remember what happened?" Mr Wolff asked quietly.

"All I remember is that I was piñata and Nat came out and kept hitting me… and you all just watched.:" Alex sniffed.

"Do you remember anyone else there?" Mr Wolff asked quietly.

"No" Alex said softly.

"You don't remember Juanita's aunt there?" Simon asked softly.

"No," Alex said quietly.

"Alex, it wasn't Nat's fault. Juanita's aunt forced him to do it, he had no idea what he was doing to you." Mr Wolff explained.

"He still did this to me, he's able to do anything he wants…" Alex said sadly.

"Alex do you blame Nat, or are you jealous of him," Juanita asked softly.

"I don't know…" Alex said softly.

"I know it's tough for you. And it must be hard watching your brother being able to do things normally knowing that he put you like this, against his knowledge." Mr Wolff said softly. "But he never ever, ever meant to hurt you."

Nat looked at his brother, he couldn't stay angry at him.

"Al, I thought I was saving you, she said it was a pig carcass and if I hit it, she wouldn't hurt you," Nat said softly.

"You believed her?" Alex asked still confused and angry.

"I was scared, you were getting so much better, I didn't want her to ruin everything for you," Nat said as tears slowly ran down his cheeks.

Alex got off his dad and sat on Nat.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and said I blamed you." Alex said crying into his brother shoulder.

Nat stroked his brothers hair.

"It's ok Al, I'm sorry I yelled at you as well," Nat said as he comforted his brother.

Simon watched pleased with the progress, but he knew he still had one thing that need to be done.

Once Alex had calmed down and was happyish again Simon got things going again.

"Ok, I think we need to give Alex some milestones to strive towards," Simon began, "If we need to give him goals to accomplish just to make things easier."

"Like what?" Juanita asked

"Something for Alex to measure his progress, maybe we could see if he can climb the Statue of Liberty unaided by Halloween," Simon suggested.

Alex eyes brightened with the thought of a challenge, but he wanted it tougher.

"What about the end of August?" Alex asked excitedly.

"That's a big ask Alex," Abigail said softly, Alex had tried to walk up the stairs at the hotel in Vancouver, he was completely exhausted by the end of the first flight.

"I know… but I really want to," Alex said looking for support.

"Ok Alex, well help you aim for the end of August." Abigail said softly.

Mr Wolff ruffled Alex's hair.

"Happy now kiddo," He said, he could see Alex was happy with the prospect of climbing the statue of Liberty himself.

Alex nodded.

They talked for another half an hour sussing everything out.


	9. Pranking Alex

"Nat do you want to play some music with me?" Alex asked as they all left the room.

"You sure your up to it man?" Nat asked kindly.

"I hope so," Alex said a bit sadly.

"Hey it's ok if your not, you didn't get any sleep last night," Nat said patting his brother on the back..

"I know but I want to play some music," Alex complained.

Nat could see Alex was in a whinging mood. But Nat wanted to play with his brother.

"Same here bro." Nat said smiling. "Do you want to play with the band?"

"Yeah, I missed having them around," Alex said following Nat to the room where all the instruments were.

Alex went and sat down at his drums. He began experimenting while Nat txted the rest of the band.

Rosalina was first to arrive.

"Hey Alex," Rosalina said smiling at him.

The rest of the band walked in a second later.

"Hey," Alex said looking up from his drums.

"What song do you want to play Alex?" Rosalina asked softly.

"Body I Occupy," Alex mumbled.

"You sure you up to man?" Qaasim asked.

Alex looked annoyed at the question.

"He wants to do ok," Nat said stepping in.

Alex counted them in before they started to play. Everyone shot glances at Alex to start off with, but as they grew comfortable they did it less and less.

After 'Body I Occupy' they played 'If That's Not Love'

"Before you know it we are there, On top of the world…" Nat trailed and off and stopped playing as he registered that Alex had stopped playing.

Everyone stopped playing and looked at Alex to see him slumped over the drums asleep. Alex chose some odd places to sleep, Nat remembered when Alex was five he fell asleep face down in a pizza when he was at the hospital.

Nat pulled out his phone and snapped a couple of pictures.

"Nat what are you doing?" Rosalina hissed annoyed.

"I'm doing what Alex want's, He would rather me act like he was not hurt," Nat explained.

"Does that mean we can prank him?" Thomas asked.

"I guess as long as it doesn't hurt him… he just wants to feel normal." Nat said.

Qaasim grinned devilishly and pulled out a vivid. He snuck over to Alex and began drawing Alex a moustache. Alex began to stir so Qaasim backed off.

Alex slowly looked up, he was looking pretty dazed.

"Why do I smell felt tip pen?" Alex asked lethargically.

Rosalina laughed at Qaasim's handiwork, unfortunately he had only managed to draw on one side of Alex's face.

"What?" Alex asked confused.

"Nothing…" Rosalina said trying to conceal a smirk.

"Lets get some lunch," Nat said, he wanted to wait a bit to see Alex find out.

Alex slowly stood up, he was confused as to what everyone was trying not to laugh at.

Juanita was helping make lunch with Big Ella when she saw Alex enter with the band following behind him.

"Have a nice sleep Alex?" Juanita said dryly.

Alex was really confused now.

"How did you know I feel a sleep?" Alex asked, he was embarrassed enough that he had fallen asleep on the drums.

"Just a feeling," Juanita smirked, she knew Alex would appreciate what they were doing.

Alex went outside and sat down at the table, where everyone else was.

"Enjoy your sleep buddy?" His dad asked him smiling.

"How does everyone know I fell asleep," Alex asked getting a bit frustrated, he thought it was only for a couple of minutes.

"Because some one drew on your face," Little Grace said laughing.

Abigail pulled out a mirror and handed it to Alex.

"I'll get you guys!" Alex said trying to sound angry, but they could all see how much Alex appreciated such a minor thing.

They all laughed.

"Just trying to make you feel better bro," Nat said ruffling Alex's hair.

"Thanks guys," Alex said sincerely.

Over the next week, Alex seemed to have even more mood swings, to even greater extremes. No one but Big Ella knew he had started drinking Lemon Lime soda again to try and ease his pain.

Alex was drinking the last can, in his fifth twenty four pack that day. He heard someone opening the door and threw the can behind the bed.

"Alex what have you been doing in here, you were supposed to be getting dressed for the concert, we have to leave in ten minutes." Nat said a bit stressed.

"What's the point I suck," Alex said heavily.

Nat didn't want Alex to know that he was right, over the last week Alex hadn't got a single song right in practise.

"No you don't man, Your just going through a difficult stretch," Nat said calmly.

Alex didn't respond and slowly got dressed before leaving with everyone to go to the concert.

Alex felt horrible afterwards, he knew he had done nothing right and yet people still applauded him. Nat looked at his brother concerned.

Alex had disappeared of to bed while everyone sat around talking. They were really concerned about Alex, there was something not right about him.

They eventually all drifted off to bed, except for Alex he continued to drink soda.


	10. I Really Need Your Help

Nat was awoken at 2am by is phone ringing.

"Hello?" He asked barely awake.

"Nat I really need your help," Alex said crying.

Nat slowly got out of bed and stumbled to Alex's room, he was expecting him to need to go toilet. Instead he opened the door to see Alex half buried in empty soda cans.

"I can't stop!" Alex cried, he didn't want to drink soda anymore.

Nat couldn't bring himself to be angry at Alex. He had done what he had never done before and actually asked for help with his soda problem.

"How long?" Nat asked softly, clearing a space on Alex bed to sit beside him.

"A week." Alex cried. "I want to stop,"

Nat gently stroked Alex's hair.

"Is ok buddy," He said tenderly. "How many did you have yesterday?"

Alex held up 7 fingers.

"Seven, that's not so bad," Nat said softly.

Alex shook his head.

"Not can's…. boxes" He cried.

"WHAT!?" Nat yelled in surprise.

Alex cried more.

"Dad's going to be angry at me," Alex sobbed, he didn't want anyone to find out.

"He's not going to be angry. I'm not angry at you," Nat said quietly. He heard footsteps and assumed he had woken someone up.

"Your always angry when I drink soda," Alex sobbed.

"You asked for help Alex, I'm so proud of you," Nat said and tightly hugged his brother.

Mr Wolff walked in.

"What was the yelling…" Mr Wolff asked before trailing off at seeing all the empty soda.

"Why didn't I see this?" He asked himself quietly.

"I'm sorry dad," Alex cried.

Mr Wolff went and hugged Nat and Alex.

"No I'm sorry Alex. I should have seen this. It's my fault, I knew you were depressed and that you try to drink it away," Mr Wolff said trying to reassure Alex. He wished he had been more vigilant.

Alex cried softly as both his dad and brother hugged him.

Mr Wolff felt really bad, he knew how difficult things were already for Alex, and the added stress of trying to break his soda addiction would be too much for Alex.

"I'm going to talk to Abigail and put off our wedding, we need to get you clean." Mr Wolff said softly.

"No, I'm not going to lie to them," Alex suddenly said angrily.

Nat gave his brother a strange look.

"I don't want to drink soda anymore!" Alex said angrily, he was looking towards the corner.

"Alex?" Mr Wolff asked softly.

"I don't want you around," Alex said before he started crying, "Just go away,"

"Alex, what's wrong." Mr Wolff said really concerned now.

"He won't go away?" Alex sobbed.

"Who?"

"Me," Alex cried loudly.

Mr Wolff stroked Alex's hair.

"Just leave me alone!" He screamed.

"Nat could you go wake up Simon and John, I think Alex is hallucinating," Mr Wolff said concerned.

"I don't want the dogs to start talking again," Alex said.

Nat looked at his brother he was really scared and pretty much ran off to get John and Simon.

Simon came in and saw Alex yelling at someone who wasn't there. He could see that Alex was losing his mind.

"Alex, what's the matter?" Simon said softly.

"I don't want to drink soda anymore, but he won't let me," Alex said pointing to the empty corner.

"Who's there?" Simon asked softly.

"Me….."

Nat walked in followed by John, Nat had never seen Alex like this before.

Alex looked up and noticed his brother had a black eye, and it was very swollen.

"What happened to your eye?" Alex asked sobbing trying to ignore his other self.

"You punched me," Nat said to his brother.

"No I…" Alex began to say.

"Yes, you had a really good concert, you played well and I went up to hug you and you punched me," Nat said softly.

"No I sucked. I didn't get any of the songs right," Alex sobbed.

Simon, John, Nat and Mr Wolff all looked at each other concerned. Alex had played a great concert despite his inability to play well in practise.

"I'll show you Nat said, and they helped Alex into the living room. Nat turned it to CNN.

It didn't take long before they showed Alex giving Nat a strong right hook.

"No. That's not what happened?" Alex cried confused.

"Alex are you ok?" Mr Wolff asked

"I don't know what's happening anymore!" Alex cried.

"Alex, we are going to take you to the hospital and see if anything is wrong with you. Ok?" John said softly.

He could see Alex was ready to really freak out. They grabbed some clothes and quickly got dressed, Alex was still wearing what he had warn to the concert was yelling at his other self to leave him only. Once everyone was dressed, Simon scrawled a quick note and left it on the fridge.

When Juanita woke up and half past 7 she found Rosalina up and txting.

"Morning Rosalina, what's happening?" Juanita said as she slowly woke up.

"Morning Juanita… Alex is in hospital," Rosalia said quietly.

"Why?" Juanita said shocked.

"I'm trying to find that out… apparently he was hallucinating." Rosalina said quietly.

Rosalina's phone then rang. She picked up on the first ring and put it on speaker.

"Nat what's going on?" She asked urgently.

"I don't know, Alex had been drinking lots of soda and he was hallucinating really bad, he doesn't have an idea what's going on. They took him to have some head scans and dad's with him, but no one knows anything." Nat said quickly.

"You ok?"

"I'm scared, I can see Alex is, he thinks he's losing his mind." Nat said quietly.

"Can you tell us when you know something?" Juanita asked.

"I think Abigail is going to bring you down after breakfast," Nat said

"Ok, we will see you later." Rosalina said and hung up.

Rosalina and Juanita sat around quietly for a twenty minutes until Abigail came out.

"Hey girls… you look two look like you've heard." Abigail said quietly.

"Nat said they were giving Alex head scans," Juanita said quietly.

"Do you girls want to just pick something to eat along the way." Abigail said softly.

They both nodded and followed Abigail to her car.

It was half an hour later when they arrived and went and sat beside Nat, John and Simon.

"Have you heard anything yet?" Abigail asked Simon.

He shook his head.

Rosalina sat beside Nat and hugged him while Juanita sat beside her foster father.


	11. Breaking the Habit

It was another half an hour before Mr Wolff came out with the doctor who was pushing Alex in a wheelchair. Alex was mumbling incoherently and they could still see he was freaking out. The doctor lead them down to a room in the ED and helped Alex onto the bed.

"We didn't find anything on the head scans, so we are going to have Dr Thompson come and have a look. He's the head of our diagnostic department." The doctor said quietly.

"Please just leave me alone!" Alex cried

Mr Wolff stood beside Alex.

"It's ok Alex, it's all going to be ok," Mr Wolff said quietly as he gave Alex a hug.

"No it's not the reporters know it's not, that's why they were yelling and screaming," Alex cried.

"What reporter's" Mr Wolff asked softly.

"All those ones outside," Alex sobbed.

Mr Wolff hugged Alex tighter.

"Alex, there were no reporters" he said softly

"What's happening to me?" Alex asked sobbing.

"Nothing lasting…." A new doctor said walking in.

"Is he real?" Alex asked holding his dad tightly. He knew he was losing his grip on reality, he didn't want to lose his grip on anything else.

"Yeah he's real buddy," Mr Wolff said quietly.

"Alex, lemon lime soda and your med's don't mix." Doctor Thompson said quietly. "The amount of soda you drank mixed with your meds is creating a reaction which is causing you to hallucinate. It is also copying the effects of long term addiction."

"So Alex is hooked on soda?" Juanita asked.

"Alex will have to detox, and that should take a week and a half tops. Which is about how long it will take for the soda to leave Alex's system. The good news is he won't get depressed as often. The bad news is, he will get extremely grumpy and his mood can change for absolutely no reason what so ever. and Alex will be very needy."

"Is that all?" Nat asked softly.

"Not quite, I would suggest that someone always keeps an eye on him, because he wont stop hallucinating until he's clean, and he will try and drink any soda he can get his hands on. The next few days will be even more difficult on him,"

Mr Wolff nodded

"Other than that, I think we can discharge him, and you can take him home," Dr Thompson said quietly.

Simon and John drove back to Onita's in one car while Rosalina, Juanita, Nat and Alex all crammed themselves into the back seat of the other.

Alex was holding his brothers arm so tightly that Nat would be entirely surprised if Alex broke it.

Juanita sat on the other side holding onto Alex. While he rested his head on Nat's shoulder.

Alex lifted his head off his brothers shoulder and looked at the back rest of the drivers seat where Abigail was sitting.

"How did you fit in the car, there is no room?" Alex said confused and scared.

"It's ok Alex, there is no one there," Rosalina said softly.

Alex started hitting the back of the drivers seat trying to hit his other self.

"Alex, don't do that, I'm trying to drive," Abigail said as she was distracted from traffic and almost rear ended a police car.

Nat grabbed his brother and tightly held him.

"Why can't I hit him?" Alex said crying.

Nat hated to see his brother cry at the best of times, but he seemed to be constantly upset.

"He's not there Alex, he's not real." Nat said softly.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN! HE'S RIGHT THERE!" Alex yelled angrily.

"Shhhhh Alex," Mr Wolff said quietly as Abigail swerved wildly as she got a fright.

They made it home with out any further incidents, Mr Wolff wanted Alex to sleep but he didn't think Alex was in any capacity to sleep. He decided to put some DVD's on, hopefully that would help distract Alex.

"I want to watch Ice Age," Alex grumped halfway through a DVD.

Juanita held Alex softly.

"This is Ice Age," She said holding him.

The movies sort of worked. Alex would watch them with Juanita and Big Ella, and the band. Occasionally the others would join in, but Nat, Rosalina and Abigail went to sleep, they would watch DVD's with him through the night. The problem was Alex got easily distracted through movies and would start threatening himself. Mr Wolff spent the day finding DVD's to rent and getting everyone food.

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO BLOW UP THE STUPID CAR!" Alex yelled.

Juanita was concerned, not so much that Alex was yelling at movies, he did that occasionally anyway, it was more the fact that they were watching 'Finding Nemo'. She also knew that once Alex got clean, she was never watching a movie again so long as she lived.

Big Ella hugged her mom tightly, she felt really bad, she thought it was her fault Alex was like this, she got him the soda, not that she had told anyone, nor had they asked.

Qaasim looked at Alex, while Thomas swapped movies. Alex was staring at the stereo licking his lips.

"When did you get a soda machine?" Alex asked and began to crawl over to it.

"Your giving up soda, right Alex," Little Grace said to Alex, she was talking to Simon and he said it might help if they reminded Alex every time he thought something was soda.

When night fell, Abigail, Nat and Rosalina stumbled out half asleep. Mr Wolff brought out some coffee and milk, to wake them up and keep them going. He noticed Alex's hands were shaking really bad.

"Stop it you stupid hands!" Alex shouted at them, "Your not real,"

Rosalina sat by Alex and held his hands in hers.

"Is that better?" she asked as she stopped them from shaking.

"Now how am I supposed to drink my milk." Alex asked confused, he was stumbling through everything, he wasn't sure if anything that was happening was actually real.

They could see Alex was completely and utterly lost, he had no clue. It was made even more evident when at three in the morning he started licking Rosalina's arms.

"You know, for a giant can of soda your not very tasty," Alex said smiling.

"Alex, what are you doing licking giant can's of soda…. Your giving up." Nat said making a mental note of that. He wouldn't let either of them live it down.

Alex turned and looked at Nat and frowned. He then looked at Abigail.

"How does Squidwid know my name?" Alex asked curiously.

Abigail gave a hopeless smile, at least he wasn't grumpy or yelling at himself again.

"That's Nat," Abigail said softly.

"No, it's Squidwid, see I'll grab his nose," Alex said and jumped up, and grabbed Nat's nose. Seeing as he had been restless most the day he hadn't seized up.

"Alex, your squishing my nose," Nat said sounding a little like squidwid.

"See he even sounds like him," Alex said with a smile to say he was right.

"Hey Squidwid, are fish really friends not food,:" Alex asked shaking a little.

"I'll make you food in a minute if you don't let go of my nose," Nat said in a squished sort of voice.

"Really, Cool. Did you hear that Giant Soda Can, Squidwids making me breakfast.." Alex said turning back to Rosalina and licking his lips again.

Abigail grabbed a blanket and tightly wrapped Alex up in it. Although it was amusing to watch she didn't think Alex's imagination needed anymore stimulating. She put on another movie, "Wall-E" and sat down beside Alex and hugged him.

"Do you know, you are the first talking taco, I've ever met," Alex said to Abigail.

It was at 5am, that Alex began shaking very violently, he felt clammy and like he wanted to vomit. Abigail helped Alex to sit in front of the toilet and sat beside him.

Alex gagged and threw his mouth over the bowl, but nothing came out.

"Why is the toilet full with soda?" Alex asked running his shaking hand through his sweaty hair.

"Just ignore it Alex, it's not soda." Abigail said softly hugging him at the same time.

"I WANT SODA!" Alex yelled suddenly trying to drink the 'soda' in the toilet.

Abigail held Alex tightly while she tried to calm him down.

"Alex, you can't have soda. That's why your feeling so bad." Abigail said softly.

Alex still struggled he thought that if he had some soda, everything would be better.

"I WANT…." Alex yelled struggling against Abigail.

Abigail held him even tighter.

"I HATE YOU! LET ME HAVE SODA!" Alex screamed.

Abigail knew it was just the detox that was causing Alex to say these things but it still hurt none the less.

"Alex do you want to stop hallucinating? Do you want yourself to go away, because for that to happen you can't have soda, no matter how hard it gets." Abigail said softly stroking his hair.

"This is too……." Alex said before he threw himself at the toilet and threw up.

Alex then lay down on the floor and just stared at the wall while Abigail comforted him.


	12. Battling Through With Friends and Family

**A/N: Sorry about the long time between updates I have been extremely busy, this is the first time I've had enough downtime to continue.**

By seven, everyone else was up, Alex wasn't having the urge to vomit anymore so Abigail lead him to hopefully have something for breakfast.

"Hey dad," Alex said unenthused, he tried to run over to him, but was too stiff to run, and hugged his dad.

"Dad I don't like talking taco's" Alex said a bit upset.

"Ok Alex, lets have some breakfast," Mr Wolff said.

He led Alex to a seat in between him and Big Ella.

"Hey Alex, you get to sit next to me." Big Ella said happily.

"I DON'T WANT TO SIT IN A STUPID SEAT" Alex shouted.

Big Ella looked like she was going to cry, she thought she upset Alex.

"Alex, here sit in this chair," Mr Wolff said directing Alex to the same seat.

Alex sat down in the chair without complaint.

Nat looked at his brother, hopefully he would wear himself out today.

"Want to spend time in the hot tub?" Nat asked Alex.

"I hope it's full with soda," Alex said desperately.

Alex looked at his feet, he suddenly noticed a can of soda.

He dived under the table to get it.

"NO!" Juanita shouted and dived under the table and began trying to wrestle the can from Alex. They were an even match, but Juanita eventually prised it from Alex's hands and threw it to Rosalina. She then wrapped Alex up in a hug.

"Alex, calm down, you don't need soda," Juanita said breathlessly. She could see Alex would need all the help he could get.

"This is too hard," Alex sobbed.

Juanita could see Alex was shaking violently and continued to hug him tightly.

"It's ok Alex, we are all here for you," Juanita said softly.

She managed to calm Alex down while Rosalina safely disposed of the soda.

Alex only got worse as the day progressed. He hit almost everyone, the only two that were safe so far was Juanita and Big Ella. It was another day of watching DVD's and Juanita, Abigail, Little Grace, Nat, Onita or Mr Wolff would always be sitting beside him, to help keep him occupied and try and stop him destroying things in a search for soda.

They all smiled with relief when Alex finally fell asleep in Juanita's arms.

"For the first time in 3 days, he's sleeping like a rock." Nat said softly.

Mr Wolff went over and picked Alex up and took Alex and laid him in bed, making sure he didn't wake him. He smiled as he left, Alex was peaceful for the first time in days.

He went and sat back down in the lounge, he could see everyone was exhausted.

"I never realized he was such a handful." Onita said.

"He's a determined kid, even if he is going through an extremely rough patch." Mr Wolff said.

"Another week, and hopefully he will be going strong again," Nat said sadly.

As much as they all tried to relax, there was no hiding that they were all still thinking about Alex. They were cautious not to wake him. Nat, Rosalina and Abigail soon headed to their rooms and fell asleep. They needed to be awake when Alex woke up.

It was 2am and when Alex finally awoke. He was feeling more awake, but in every other way he was feeling worse than before he went to sleep. He had a massive headache, he was too stiff to move, his hands were shaking uncontrollably, he felt like he was burning up, and he desperately craved for a single drop of soda to land on his tongue.

"Hello Alex," He heard his other self say. "It's getting difficult isn't it, you know soda will make it all go away,"

Alex just stared at his other self, he was sounding really convincing now.

"Mmmmmm Soda. Can you get me some?" Alex asked desperately.

"You have to get it your self," His other self said calmly.

"HOW CAN I GET SODA MYSELF! I CAN'T MOVE!" Alex yelled angrily.

Abigail had been up for about an hour when she heard Alex was awake. She quietly walked in.

"You ok Alex?"

"No! I WANT SODA!" Alex yelled.

Abigail sat down beside Alex.

"Soda wont help you Alex. You have to be strong." She said tightly hugging him.

Alex tried to hit Abigail in anger and frustration, but Alex was unable to get any power due to the way Abigail was hugging him.

Mr Wolff and Abigail and decided that there was no hope in getting Alex to do his exercises, they hoped it wouldn't take too much longer before Alex battled through.

"I NEED SODA!" Alex yelled.

"Shhhhhhhhhhh, You know that you don't want or need soda, your giving up remember." Abigail said softly.

Alex imagined a soda machine falling on top of Abigail. It was such an appealing prospect.

"You will stop seeing soda everywhere and the hallucinations will stop once you give up." Abigail said softly. She knew Alex was struggling and if it wasn't for his lack of mobility she knew he would have turned back to soda.

For the next 5 days it was hazardous to anyone's health to sit next to Alex. He hit everyone. Juanita copped it for no reason at all. She sat down next to him and received a hard slap across the face. It took all her control to stop herself hitting him back. She knew it was just Alex detoxing.

They had also taken to sitting with Alex away from anything breakable. Alex had destroyed several lamps a number of plates and cups in fits of desperation for soda. Other times he threw them at where ever he was seeing his other self. Cooper had to be taken to hospital with a broken arm on one occasion, yet they still stood by Alex.

Nat and Rosalina sat on Nat's bad. He was upset, he usually didn't have bad dreams, but this night Nat had dreamed that he did kill Alex. Nat felt himself alone, and felt the guilt he felt for hurting Alex and the hate people would feel towards him if they found out what happened.

"Nat it's ok," Rosalina said hugging him. "Alex is going to be fine."

"Would you be saying this if Alex died?" Nat said sobbing. "I mean It's bad enough that I am always hearing him crying out in pain."

"Nat we all know it wasn't your fault, if you didn't do it she would have killed you, and knowing how sadistic she is, she would have forced Alex to watch before killing him." Rosalina as she attempted the difficult task of comforting Nat.

She held him tightly and let him cry into her shoulder. She did this for about 30 minutes when they were interrupted.

Alex wheeled himself in his wheelchair, they could see he had been crying aswell as tears still ran down his cheeks.

"Nat are you ok?" Alex asked trying to stop himself crying.

Nat pulled himself out of Rosalina's shoulder, he saw Alex and wanted to be strong for him.

"I'm fine, Alex. What about you?" Nat said trying to sound normal.

Alex didn't really notice.

"I'm lonely," He said sadly.

"Where did mom go?" Nat asked he knew Abigail was supposed to have been watching Alex.

Alex shrugged.

"I'm lonely," Alex said, everything was too quiet.

"How did you get into your wheelchair if mom's not around." Nat asked.

"I got lonely, It hurts really bad. Do you know how much it hurts to drag yourself off the bed and into your wheel chair?" Alex asked wincing as he was still having the after effects of the effort pulse through his back.

Rosalina went over and picked up Alex, he had been eating just not massive amounts while he tried to get of soda, so was relatively light. She lay him on the bed next to Nat before laying down herself.

Rosalina put her arm around Alex. Neither her or Nat noticed one major thing with Alex.

Alex tried to hug both Rosalina and Nat, but it felt awkward.

"Alex?" Nat said quietly.

"Yeah?" Alex said about to fall asleep in between Nat and Rosalina.

"Just how lonely are you?" Nat asked.

"Very," Alex said quietly.

"Very as in no more hallucinations?" Nat asked gently.

"Yep, it's too quiet," Alex said softly, the realization that he had beaten his soda addiction hadn't yet sunk in.

"I'm so proud of you Alex," Nat said hugging his brother tightly. Alex winced in pain but didn't make a sound. Keeping his physical pain hidden and become second nature, Alex knew that no one was aware of how much pain he was in. He still didn't want to pass that burden on.

"Why?" Alex asked confused.

"Because your off soda, you made it." Rosalina said softly

Alex opened his eyes.

"Really?" Alex asked as he raised his head curiously.

"Yeah man" Nat said ruffling his brothers hair.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alex shouted becoming immediately awake, and waking everyone else in the house up.

If Alex could he would have been jumping up and down on the bed.

Abigail came into the room.

"What's going on, you just woke everyone up." Abigail said sternly, she hadn't seen Alex wedged in between Nat and Rosalina. "Now do you know where Alex got to."

Alex rolled over onto his back and let his head droop of the bed, so he was looking at Abigail upside down.

"M…….. M………" Alex started trying to say mom, but it was awkward, never in his life had he ever called someone mom, "Mabagail,, I'm not on soda anymore,"

Abigail looked at Alex, it saddened her to see Alex with such difficulty trying to call anyone mom.

She looked to Nat and Rosalina and they both nodded in support.

"Don't you feel so much better now?" Abigail asked excitedly.

Alex shook his head.

Abigail looked a bit shocked at this.

"I feel so lonely now," Alex said softly.

Abigail came up and ruffled Alex's hair, it was seeming to him that was all it was good for.

"You just need to get used to no hallucinating" Abigail said quietly.

"Hey little man," Qaasim said walking in looking tired.

Alex looked at Qaasim.

"I'm not on soda anymore…….. I need to find stairs," Alex said as he realized he was even more behind with his goal to climb the statute of liberty.

"What?" Nat said confused looking at his brother.

"I need stairs. I have to climb the Statue of Liberty. I am way behind." Alex said urgently

"Alex," Abigail said holding him, "Lets see if you can walk first, you have been so out of it for the last week."

Abigail thought it would be best to put Alex in the hot tub to loosen him up a bit, before they helped him do his exercises.

They helped Alex to get into the hot tub, he was wearing a pair of board shorts and a singlet. Alex enjoyed being in the hot tub, it was one of the few times he was able to forget how much pain he was in.


	13. Back To School

**A/N: Thought I would be kind and post another chapter, not sure when I will have the time to post another one though. Enjoy!**

They held a small celebration through the morning until lunch. Mr Wolff had received a phone call and wasn't overly impressed.

"What's the matter dad?" Nat asked seeing him getting off the phone.

Alex was still hyped up that he had beaten soda, that he hadn't noticed. He was trying to have fun with everyone.

"Your schools want to start a couple of days earlier than usual." He said, it meant that they would have to leave later that day if they wanted to settle in before Nat and Alex went back to school.

"That………sucks" Nat said quietly.

"Yeah, I think Alex could have done with the rest period….." Mr Wolff said quietly.

"Dad, do you think Alex would be resting?" Nat asked smirking.

"I know, he'd be tyring himself out trying to climb stairs." Mr Wolff said with a smile.

They both looked at him.

"Hey Coop, can I sign your cast?" Alex asked happily.

Cooper smiled.

"Signed by the maker," Cooper joked.

Alex grinned sheepishly. He wasn't aware that he broke Coopers arm, most of the last week and a half seemed like a blur.

"Sorry about that," Alex said as Cooper gave him a vivid.

Alex scribbled a completely unreadable message onto Coopers cast. Alex hadn't written anything in just under a year.

"Alex," Mr Wolff called.

Alex swung his head around curiously.

"Yeah?"

"Your going to have to pack your bags," Mr Wolff said softly.

"Why?" Alex asked disappointed.

"You have to be at school on Monday," Mr Wolff responded, he knew Alex wanted to get back to school, but he could also see Alex wanted to relax.

"That's a whole……" Alex said counting his fingers before he realized he didn't know what day it was.

"Two sleeps," Mr Wolff supplied.

"What about that band," Alex asked.

"They don't have to be back until Wednesday, and Nat doesn't have to be back until Tuesday." Mr Wolff said.

Alex looked even more disappointed.

"What about Juanita?"

"Her and the rest of the school start on Wednesday."

"Why do I have to start school before everyone else?" Alex asked, Nat could see Alex wasn't happy with that.

"They think you might need a couple of days to get you back into school, and catch you up a little." Mr Wolff said.

That was it for Alex, he refused to pack or co-operate in any way. If people couldn't treat him like everyone else then Alex wasn't interested.

It was a hassle but by 9pm they arrived back at the apartment, They carried Alex upstairs to his and Nat's room, and put him on his bed. Alex was barely awake as it was.

They all fell asleep pretty quickly, everyone was exhausted.

It was a little later than usual when Mr Wolff came in and shook Alex awake. Alex groaned, he didn't want to get up, he was enjoying sleeping in his own bed again.

"Come on buddy, then once we are done we can go and have pancakes together." Mr Wolff said softly helping Alex up.

Alex didn't say anything he was dreading doing his exercises, most the time just doing them ruined his day. Today was worse then usual, Alex had to get used to the pain he experienced doing his exercises and there was no hot tub to help him out.

Alex was crying into his dad's shoulder, he knew he had no option but to wait until the pain subsided.

"I'm so proud of you Alex, your doing well." Mr Wolff comforted him.

"No I'm not," Alex sobbed.

Mr Wolff looked deep into Alex's eyes.

"Alex, you have to believe you are, if you don't it will make it so much harder," Mr Wolff said gently.

"Do you mean hardener? Because it's already harder," Alex said quietly.

Mr Wolff just smiled.

"Al, your doing well man," Nat said tiredly from his bed.

"What would you know?" Alex asked the pain getting to him.

"Alex, I've seen what your like when your not doing well," Nat informed him.

Alex looked frustrated, before shrugging his shoulders.

"So you going to get yourself dressed and we can go out for breakfast." Mr Wolff said gently.

Alex nodded

"Can I come too?" Nat asked.

"Ok," Mr Wolff said, he was a bit hesitant, he wanted to spend some time with Alex.

It was a largely uneventful day, the only thing that happened was Alex found something interesting in the newspaper.

"Can I do it Dad?" Alex asked.

"I don't know Alex, Do you really think you can hand write a couple of pages?" Mr Wolff asked.

Alex looked a bit disappointed.

"I don't know," Alex said sadly.

"Why don't you give it ago, we can talk to your tutor tomorrow and maybe they can help you out with it," Mr Wolff suggested.

Alex brightened up.

"And can you not tell Nat, if we win, I want it to be a surprise," Alex said happily.

"Ok buddy," Mr Wolff said with a smile, he could see Alex was wanting to do something for Nat.

At 5am on Monday Mr Wolff quietly entered his sons room, they were both sleeping soundly. Mr Wolff didn't want to, but he knew he had to wake Alex so he could do his exercises. He knew Alex hated them, and truth be told he didn't like to see either of his sons in any type of pain.

"Time to wake up Alex," Mr Wolff said softly as he gently shook him awake.

"Morning dad," Alex groaned sleepily. He kept his eyes shut, he didn't want to wake up. Waking up meant one things. Pain.

"Come on buddy, we need to do your exercises," Mr Wolff said, as he help Alex sit up.

Alex groaned and rubbed his eyes, one of the worst things is he was never given time to wake up, usually he was jerked awake by the stabbing pain the moment he did his exercises.

"Can we get a hot tub?" Alex asked as he rubbed his eyes again.

"Where would we put it? We don't have the room," Mr Wolff explained.

Alex sighed disappointed.

He was just about to start his exercises when he had a brain wave.

"Could we put it on the roof?" Alex asked tiredly.

Mr Wolff looked at Alex.

"It could work, but I would have to see if we would be allowed," Mr Wolff said giving Alex a little hope before he started his exercises.

At 7am Alex was quietly sobbing, once again the pain was too much.

"Do I have to do this everyday?" Alex cried.

"I know it's tough Alex, but if you want to be able to walk everyday, you will." Mr Wolff said softly hugging Alex. "As you get better it should hurt less and less."

"When will that be?" Alex cried louder in frustration and pain.

"I don't know buddy, soon I hope," Mr Wolff said hugging Alex tighter, while Nat stirred slightly.

Mr Wolff helped Alex dress, they had worked out Alex was at his loosest just before bed, which is when he had his showers. Alex loathed his schedule he wished it didn't have to be so fixed.

Mr Wolff had cooked bacon and eggs and dished up a couple of plates as Alex tenderly walked out. He went into the fridge and poured a glass of milk before putting it by Alex's plate.

"Thanks dad," Alex mumbled as he moodily poked around his plate. He slowly began eating. His dad wasn't much of a cook, but it did wonders with bacon and eggs and eating seemed to cheer Alex up.

"Great food," Alex said with his mouth full.

Mr Wolff smiled.

"Alex how many times do I have to tell you to not eat with your mouth full." He said.

"Dad," Alex said with another forkful in his mouth

"Yeah Alex," Mr Wolff said sighing.

"Do you mean talk? Because it's hard eating on an empty mouth," Alex said smirking.

Mr Wolff laughed, it was pleasing to see that despite all that Alex had been through he still carried his sense of humour.

They both left walking for school, Mr Wolff pushed Alex's wheel chair, while Alex walked beside him. As much as Alex didn't want it, his dad had convinced him that he might need it if he exhausted himself during the day.

Alex didn't take his bag, he had no books yet and his dad was going to take him out to lunch with Nat and Abigail, so he didn't have that with him. All he carried was the clipping he had cut from the day befores paper.

Alex found the few steps in front of the school difficult, it was only a couple but Alex struggled to climb them.

They both walked into the school and were greeted by Principal Schmoke.

"Hey Alex, welcome back," He said joyfully at seeing Alex.

"Hey," Alex said breathlessly.

"Alex, do you want to sit down?" Mr Wolff asked.

Alex was out of breath so he reluctantly sat down in his wheelchair. He was disappointed in himself.

"Why don't two come to my office and we can talk, and you can met your new tutor Alex," He said.

Mr Wolff pushed Alex after Principle Schmoke to his office. They were surprised to see Simon in there with another lady.

"Hey Alex," Simon said enthusiastically.

"Hey Simon," Alex said with a disappointed tone.

"What's the matter?" Simon asked softly.

"I can't walk as far as I want to," Alex said sadly.

Simon looked at Alex.

"Alex, if your willing to put in a lot of hard work then you should be ready," Simon said to reassure Alex, but personally he felt that deadline Alex had set was probably abit unrealistic.

Alex tried to look determined, he didn't know if it worked because he was disheartened.

"Anyway Alex, this is Angela, she is going to be your tutor for the year," Simon said introducing the lady.

"Hey Alex," She said kindly.

Alex looked up at her.

"Hey," Alex said quietly.

Simon looked at Alex.

"How's your brother Alex?" Simon asked.

Alex looked up at him.

"He need's a vacation." Alex mumbled.

"He just came back from one," Principal Schmoke said.

"Away from me, He didn't get to do any relaxing because of me," Alex said frustrated.

"It's not your fault Alex," Simon reminded him.

"Yeah but he didn't get to do anything fun," Alex said getting a bit wound up.

"True, but neither did you," Mr Wolff said.

Alex looked at him annoyed.

"Yeah but there is something wrong with me."

Everyone looked around uncomfortably.

"It's ok Alex, how about you show Angela what you want to do." Mr Wolff said gently to him.

Alex showed her the clipping from the news paper. It was an application form and instructions for the brother of the year contest.

Angela looked over the form and then looked at Alex.

"This has to be in by tonight Alex," She said softly.

"I want to do this for Nat," Alex said desperately.

"Ok Alex," She finally said.

Alex began wheeling himself following Angela to a classroom, and wheeled himself up against the the desk.

"That was tyring ," Alex puffed, he wasn't used to a lot of exercise.

Angela just smiled and got some pens and paper. She brought them over the desk and put them down before sitting beside Alex.

"Why do you think Nat's the best brother?" Angela asked as Alex starred at the blank paper.

"He's always there beside me and helping me. Even though I know he hates looking at me," Alex mumbled.

"Why would he hate looking at you?" Angela asked surprised.

"Because….. he did this to me, he thought he was saving me," Alex mumbled.

"What, how?" She asked stunned.

"I don't want to talk about," Alex mumbled.

Angela had Alex start to write out the story. It was evident after a few lines that she would have to spend some time helping Alex forming his letters as she could not read what he had written.

Alex wrote and wrote for 3 hours, persisting through the writers cramp he got after only a couple of minutes. Angela would constantly help him, having him practice some letters and reminding him how to spell words.


	14. The Good The Bad The Worse

When lunch time came around Alex was exhausted, he would have liked to just go home and sleep but he wanted to do this for Nat.

"Hey buddy, what are you writing?" Nat asked as he walked in with Abigail and his dad.

"Stuff," Alex said covering up the page so Nat couldn't see it.

Mr Wolff smiled, he remembered when Alex came home from his first day of school when he was 5, and when he was asked what he did that day his response was the same.

"Ready for lunch?" Abigail asked him.

Alex nodded tiredly, and his dad began to push him out for lunch.

"So, what are you hungry for?" Abigail asked him.

Alex wasn't too sure.

"I don't know, something I don't have to eat with a knife or fork." Alex mumbled

"Why's that man" Nat asked curiously.

"My hands hurt," Alex complained.

Too much writing huh?" Nat asked trying to get his brother to be more talkative.

"Uh huh." Alex said quietly.

"So when was the last time you wrote more than a few words?" Abigail asked.

Alex racked his brain.

"Um……. Ahhhhhhh……. Errrrrrrrrrr……….. I don't know" Alex said slowly.

Abigail looked sadly at Alex. She knew that most of the things he remembered were the same things he wished he'd forget. Not that Alex ever said this to anyone, but they all knew.

"Do you guy's think I'm stupid because I can't remember things?" Alex asked sadly.

"No! Of course we don't Alex, besides you still remember all the important things." Nat said.

"No I don't… I don't even remember what day I was born……." Alex said trailing off sadly.

Nat wondered what else Alex had forgotten, if he had forgotten his birthday who knows what else slipped his mind.

"It's November the first," Nat said softly.

"Which month is that?" Alex asked frustrated, he sometimes felt like banging his head on a brick wall.

Mr Wolff felt bad for Alex, he was having to relearn a bunch of stuff he learnt when he was five. Sometimes it was like teaching a five year old, but no one mentioned this to Alex. They didn't want him to think he even more stupider.

"It's the second to last month of the year, just before December." Nat reminded him, they had talked about this a couple of times, but a lasting effect of both the trauma and the concussion was memory, which the hoped they could fix over the year.

"I hate December….. I hate it I hate it……Just like stupid……….." Alex said trying to remember the next month.

"January?" Mr Wolff supplied.

"Yeah that one," Alex said angrily.

"Hey but what about me? I was born in December." Nat said, he wasn't annoyed, Alex had good reason to hate those months.

"You were?" Alex asked uncertain.

Nat could see Alex was upset and wished he didn't forget things. What made it worse was there was no pattern to what Alex had forgotten. The only way they ever found out was when Alex didn't remember things.

"Yeah, but don't stress about it." Nat said patting his head.

They pushed Alex into a burger bar and Nat and Mr Wolff went and order the food.

"You ok Alex? You look a little lethargic." Abigail said softly.

"Yeah, just tired," Alex yawned.

"Well I have some news that should make you happy." Abigail said looking at him warmly.

"What?" Alex asked trying to sound interested.

"We got you a hot tub."

Alex's eyes widened.

"Really!?" Alex said excitedly.

"Yep, we managed to convince the landlord to let you have it up there." Abigail said, she could see she had just given Alex another burst of energy.

Alex pulled himself up he winced in pain as he hobbled over to Abigail and hugged her.

Abigail hugged him back, she just wished that he would let people know how much pain he was in, she noticed he became extremely tense.

"Thanks M…. M…… Mabaigail," Alex said getting a little frustrated.

"Alex, are you ok?" Abigail asked softly.

Alex stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"Yeah…" He finally said.

Alex enjoyed having lunch with his family, and felt abit sad when he had to go back to school.

Alex struggled through the last page, Angela could see Alex was getting extremely frustrated. He snapped at her when she suggested he rewrite a word before apologizing sheepishly.

"I can see why you think Nat's the best brother," Angela said reading through Alex's finished story.

"Yeah," Alex said quietly as he laid his head on the desk and dozed off.

Angela looked at him, she knew he should be proud of his accomplishment. She knew it was difficult for him. Although she wasn't aware how hard it was to put some of it on paper.

"He did good," Angela said quietly as Mr Wolff walked in and saw Alex asleep.

"Yeah, I just hope he wins, he will be crushed otherwise." Mr Wolff said.

"Yeah, Well I made a couple of photocopies so if he doesn't you can still show it to Nat" Angela said handing him a copy.

"Thanks," Mr Wolff said.

"I think Alex deserves a little sleep tomorrow, he doesn't have to be in until ten." Angela said

At six in the morning Nat woke up, he gently climbed off the top bunk, he saw Alex still sleeping, god knows he needed the rest.

Nat had a shower and walked into the living room where his dad and Abigail were talking over a cup of coffee.

"Hey mom, Hey Dad" Nat said as he walked.

"Hey Nat," They both said together.

Nat was about to ask a question when there was a knock on the door.

Mr Wolff stood up and answered.

"Is Nat and Alex around?" A man asked holding a briefcase.

"Yes they are,"

"Could you get them?"

"Nat yes…. Alex not so much," Mr Wolff replied. "You're here about the thing?"

The man nodded.

"How about you come follow me and you can talk to them," Mr Wolff said.

They both walked in and walked into Nat and Alex's room. Nat followed seeing his dad motion for him to follow.

"What's going on?" Nat asked curiously.

"We will tell you when Alex is awake," Mr Wolff said gently put his hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Dad, I don't want muffins for lunch," Alex moaned sleepily.

"Sorry Alex, but you have a visitor," Mr Wolff said softly.

"Tell them to come back next year," Alex moaned again.

"It's about the thing," He whispered in Alex's ear.

Alex groaned grumpily and tried to roll over and sit up. His dad helped him up.

Alex stared grumpily at the man.

"Sorry Alex, but I thought you would like to know you won."

"Won Schmun" Alex said still annoyed he got woken up.

"Won what?" Nat asked a little confused.

"Alex's story won the competition to name you brother of the year," The man said.

"What, What, What?" Nat asked shocked.

"Brother of the year, which means you both get to spend two weeks in the UK, although seeing as your underage you can take your parents." The man said, looking between Nat who was shocked and Alex who looked like he would like nothing better than to go back to sleep.

"Wait!" Nat said thinking he found something Alex had overlooked. "Alex can't really fly,"

"He can't?" The man said looking from Nat to Alex.

"Yeah, I only wanted to win this so Nat could go," Alex said quietly.

Nat looked at Alex, he wanted to know what he was thinking, because Nat knew Alex would miss him.

"So then what could we do for you?" The man asked.

"A new back would be nice" Alex mumbled on the verge of dozing off.

The man looked around awkwardly.

"How about something that makes you feel better?" Mr Wolff asked.

"Massage would be good," Alex mumbled falling asleep.

The man looked at Mr Wolff.

"I'm could scrounge up a years membership to a health spa so he can have free massages." The man said.

"He'll like that" Nat said softly.

"Yeah, but he won't like being woken up again… which we better to do to so he's ready for school"

"I'll come back later on to sort things out, but if I can I'd like to get a photo of Nat and Alex." He said.

"Alex," Mr Wolff said softly as he gently shook Alex back awake.

"Mmmm" Alex groaned grumpily.

"Come on Alex, We want to get a picture before you get ready for school" Mr Wolff said.

"I don't want to go to stupid school" Alex moaned.

"Why not?" Nat asked softly.

"It's too hard, everything's too hard," Alex moaned.

"You can manage Alex, you survived yesterday." Mr Wolff said softly.

"That's because I can't forget all the shit I've been through" Alex snapped.

"Al, I know it's difficult….." Mr Wolff started.

"No! No you don't! You don't know the meaning of the word difficult! You don't know how difficult it is to do anything when everything you do hurts, and the hurting never stops. You don't know what it's like to try and think about anything when all you can think about is the pain!" Alex shouted angrily.

Nat wanted to say something but Alex wasn't finished.

"You don't know how hard it is to want to stay alive. I just want everything to stop hurting, I just want to die but each time I go to do something, I keep seeing everyone, it's not fair. I want to die…. But I know I can't," Alex said shaking a lot as he began to cry.

Everyone was shell shocked, they knew instantly that this wasn't a once of rant. Alex was in so much pain and was so miserable that if it wasn't for his loyalty and love for his family and friends he would have killed himself.

No one knew what to say or do. Nat was so numb with guilt, it was his fault that Alex was like this in the first place, and it was he fault again that Alex was suffering through so much pain. Mr Wolff was unnerved Alex sounded like he had come so close to taking his own life. Which is something no one his age should ever even have to think about. He didn't realize that Alex had been in this much pain nor that Alex was so miserable. He seemed to be happy at times, but now he wondered if that was just an act.

Abigail quietly entered the room, she had only heard parts of what Alex had said. She had never seen Alex so miserable, so defeated. She knew that this was Alex's darkest hour and she hated the fact that she hadn't seen the signs for what they were.

"Come on Alex, be strong just a little bit longer, I think we should go to the hospital." Abigail said softly, she could see that Alex was so far down the road to the darkest place in his soul that he wouldn't resist her attempts to help.

"What's the point?" Alex sobbed, "All they do is poke me and prod me and they never make anything better,"

"Alex, the point is you don't have to suffer through this, the doctors can gave your stronger medication." Abigail said softly.

"It's going to be ok Alex," Nat said hugging his brother.

The man stood there awkwardly. He knew he had stumbled upon valuable information. But he couldn't bring himself to report it.

"I think we could just use a stock photo," The man said quietly. He would try coming back later to get a picture for another edition.

"Sorry about this," Mr Wolff said.

"There's no need to be," He replied sadly.

The man left while Abigail helped Alex get dressed. She then helped him into his wheelchair


	15. Unfair

"Come on Nat, we'll drop you off before we take Alex to hospital." Mr Wolff said as they followed Abigail and Alex out to the car.

Nat spent the whole trip just watching Alex. Alex wasn't saying anything and Nat wouldn't be surprised if he didn't notice anyone talking to him. He seemed to be concentrating all his energy on not crying out in pain.

There were times where Nat just wished he could read his brothers mind. Because Alex was very guarded about giving any information away. He couldn't comprehend what it was like to be Alex.

It was with a small sense of relief that Nat got out at school and had a chance to not feel guilty about Alex.

Mr Wolff got out and quickly made his way into Alex's school before coming back a couple of minutes later.

It took nearly 45 minutes to finally get to see Alex's specialist once they finally arrived at the hospital.

"Alex, I wasn't expecting to see you for a couple of weeks," the specialist said.

Alex didn't say anything, now that he had spilled the beans it was more difficult to try and ignore the pain to think let along talk.

"We want to put Alex on some stronger pain killers, the stuff he's on now don't seem to do anything," Abigail said quietly.

"Ok Alex, we are going to lift you onto this bed here," The doctor said before he had Abigail lifted him up.

Alex gasped in pain as he did.

"Ok Alex, on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad does it hurt?" The specialist asked.

'2 Billion!" Alex yelled in pain.

"Ok how about now," The specialist asked pressing down lightly on Alex's back.

"I don't know, it hurts too feel anything!" Alex yelled.

"Alex, we are going to give you some morphine and then go from the there." The specialist said searching through a cabinet for it.

Alex never felt the needle go in, but he soon felt his pain going away and for the first time in ages Alex's felt that things were bearable.

"How's that?"

"Lots, lots better," Alex sighed with relief.

"See Alex, the doctors can make things better," Abigail said softly.

"Right, well seeing as you are here, we might as well see if Alex has gotten any better, are you able to walk for me?"

"No… We didn't do the things," Alex said feeling slower due to the morphine.

"He pretty much woke up grumpy, finally told us he was feeling this bad and we brought him in," Mr Wolff said.

"Ok, We'll take him for X Rays, afterwards we can have him do his exercises and we'll check a couple of things out." The specialist said.

It was 11:20 when they had finished. Alex was thankful for the morphine, his exercises were the most bearable they had ever been.

"Ok Alex, I want you to stand up and take a few steps."

Alex did as he was told, the doctor began feeling Alex's back, Alex felt a sharp pain in his back for a second before it was gone.

The specialist heard Alex gasp in pain.

"Ok take a seat,"

Alex took a seat in his wheelchair, which was in between Abigail and his dad.

The doctor had the X-rays on his desk and took a quick glance at them.

"So am I better?" Alex asked unsure if he wanted to know.

The doctor looked at him.

"The short answer is no, but at this early stage it is not uncommon to see no improvement." The specialist said.

Abigail squeezed Alex's hand, she knew this wasn't the news Alex wanted.

"In your case, it appears that you had made some improvements, but you have put your back under more stress than it is capable of taking while healing at the same time."

Alex sniffed a little trying to hide how upset and disappointed he was feeling.

"Until our next appointment I want you to take it easy. No climbing, No running in fact I don't want you walking anything more than a few steps." The specialist said.

"This is so unfair," Alex said and started crying.

Mr Wolff hugged Alex.

"It's just a set back Alex, give it time and everything will be alright," He said softly.

"Alex I'm just trying to make sure you don't do permanent damage," The doctor said quietly.

"That doesn't stop it being unfair," Alex cried.

"I know Alex," Abigail said softly,

"But I am trying to make it easier on you, I want to put you on Vicodin when you wake up and at lunch, and a morphine drip when you get home. It should stop you feeling the pain," The specialist said.

Alex was still unhappy when they dropped him off at school. His dad pushed into the classroom, Angela was in there talking with Juanita and another kid was there with principal Schmoke and his parents.

"Hey Alex, I thought I would come in and say hi," Juanita said smiling to him.

Alex felt very slow as he tried to respond to Juanita.

"Hey Juanita…" Alex mumbled slowly.

"You alright, you seem a bit slow." Juanita asked.

"We had to take him to the hospital and put him on stronger medication," Mr Wolff said softly.

"Hey Alex, this is Jeremy, he's going to be in your class. He just moved from Colorado" Principal Schmoke said.

Alex slowly turned and looked at him.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey Alex," Jeremy said nervously, Juanita had been talking to him about Alex, he couldn't believe he was going to school with him let alone talking to him.

"Alex are you sure your alright, you seem blue." Juanita asked, she could see Alex wasn't in the mood to do anything.

"No the stupid doctor said I'm not allowed to do anything," Alex said quietly.

"Give time Alex, then it will be all ok." She said softly to him.

Alex didn't even bother to listen, he had it so many times and so many times it was wrong, it would just depress him to hear it again.

"Come on Alex, I think we should get started," Angela said, something told her that today it would take a lot of coaxing to get Alex to do anything.

"He seems really quiet, he's not usually like that is he?" Jeremy asked.

"It has been a really difficult couple of years from him. He's had one thing go wrong after another. Maybe once things start going right for him he will be himself again… I hope" Juanita said sadly.

She remembered that Alex had only been himself for a month over the last two years. She was scared he wouldn't remember who he used to be.


	16. Jeremy

Nat woke a little before Alex did the next morning, He didn't know how soon he and his dad would be going on the trip. The tickets had been dropped off last night after Alex went to sleep, and it told him they would fly out that Thursday.

Nat wasn't too concerned, he spent the day before talking with a specialist trying to get things of his chest. He did wonder how Alex would cope, never in his life had they ever been so far away from Alex and defiantly not since Vancouver has he not seen his dad or him in anything more than a week.

Nat climbed down from his bunk. Alex was sleeping still, Nat wasn't to careful about keeping quiet, someone would be in shortly to wake him up.

Nat grabbed his clothes and went for a shower but he heard his dad go into to wake up Alex.

Mr Wolff shook Alex awake.

"Hey buddy," He said quietly. He was holding one of Alex's pills and a glass of water.

"Hey dad," Alex groaned tiredly.

"Here Alex take this," Mr Wolff said giving Alex the pill and the water.

Alex swallowed them together, he didn't know how that doctor on TV managed to do it with out water.

Mr Wolff then put the glass on the shelf and sat on Alex's bed.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Good I guess." Alex said quietly.

"You guess?" Mr Wolff asked curiously.

"I don't know, I only just woke up," Alex said a little agitated

"It's ok, I'm just joking with you," Mr Wolff said smiling.

Alex smiled.

"Now Alex, I want to ask you a couple of things." Mr Wolff said softly.

"What?"

"You do know that Nat and I fly out on Thursday, right?" Mr Wolff asked.

Alex shook his head, he never bothered to check the dates.

"Ok. Are you really ok with this Alex, because if you just did this as a token gesture, we would both understand," Mr Wolff stated.

Alex began playing with his hands uncomfortably.

"I don't know. I just want Nat to get away and not feel guilty." Alex mumbled.

Mr Wolff could understand Alex's intentions, but he wasn't too sure whether Alex had actually thought it through.

"Nat and I will be gone for two weeks, that's a long time Alex."

"The UK has phones don't they?" Alex asked now looking at his hands, he was scared of them going, but he knew if he told anyone his brother and his dad wouldn't go, although Alex secretly wanted this.

"Of course they do buddy, and we'll call you every day." Mr Wolff said giving Alex a playful knock on the check.

"Thanks dad,"

When his dad wheeled him up to school, he wheeled him over to Juanita, and the kid he met yesterday.

"Hey Alex," Juanita said softly. "Hi Mr Wolff"

"Hi Juanita," Mr Wolff said smiling.

"I suppose I can leave you to take care of Alex." Mr Wolff said with a smile.

"I'll see you after school buddy," Mr Wolff giving Alex a hug.

"Bye dad," Alex said, still not entirely sure if he wanted his dad or brother to go away.

"So Alex, is it ok if Jeremy hangs out with us seeing as he is new and all," Juanita asked.

"Yeah," Alex said slowly, "Hey Jeremy"

Jeremy smiled.

"Thanks, I was hoping you would say yes, I hate starting at a new school." Jeremy said a little bit timidly.

"I know, it was they something when I started here, thankfully I knew Alex from the skate park." Juanita said.

"I know it's short notice, but do you want to come to my birthday party on Friday and Saturday," Jeremy asked "I've got one of my friends coming in from Colorado,"

"It should be cool with my parents," Juanita said, she had spent a lot of the day before hanging out with him.

Alex looked extremely reluctant.

"Do you not like me Alex?" Jeremy asked quietly.

Juanita looked at him then back at Jeremy.

"I don't think it's that. Alex doesn't know you too well, he doesn't know your parents or where you live. The last time he went to someone's house like that, he almost got beaten and starved to death."

Juanita explained, she knew Alex was scared to death of it happening again.

"Oh, well my mom will be here to pick me up, so maybe we can all talk then.' Jeremy said,

Alex didn't say a lot during the day, partly because of his pain killers and partly because he was distracted thinking about Nat and his dad going.

"Do you think they'll come back?" Alex asked Juanita shortly before lunch.

"Alex Columbus is dead," Juanita said thinking Alex was asking about a statement the teacher just made.

"No, Dad and Nat, if they go, do you think they will come back." Alex asked ignoring his tutor who was trying to get him to write something.

"Of course they are going to come back, they love you and to be honest, your not as much of a nuisance as you think you are." Juanita said, she knew Alex was scared of being deserted and it stemmed from once again Vancouver, when Nat told him they where at the airport From what Juanita could understand Alex thought they were running away from him.

"I wish you would talk to them about it, or at least not have sworn me to secrecy," Juanita said

"If they knew then they would leave me," Alex whined.

"Alex, you're my best friend in the whole world, but you need to get it through your head that your dad and brother would swim the Atlantic if it was the only way to get back to you." Juanita said.

"You think?" Alex asked.

"I know Alex." Juanita said with a reassuring smile.

"It's ok to feel a little insecure Alex," Jeremy said softly, "I was always scared my mom and dad would get divorced,"

"I'm not insecure…. I'm scared," Alex mumbled.

"You're a strange kid Alex, not many would admit their scared especially at school." Jeremy said admiring Alex's openness.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, most the time he is extremely guarded. He only told anyone yesterday, how badder a pain he was in since he broke his back.

"Huh... where am I?" Alex jumped looked confused.

Juanita looked at Alex strangely.

"Are you ok Alex?" Juanita asked concerned.

Alex stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.

"Yeah..." Alex said evasively.


	17. Night Terrors

Abigail was watching TV, she was going to stay up for when Mr Wolff called. She was distracted from the show she was watching when she heard Alex screaming,

She immediately stood up and ran into Alex's room. He was thrashing around in his sleep screaming. She knew he was having a nightmare and went over and shook him awake.

Alex just lay there crying, he was so scared.

"Calm down Alex, it's ok I'm here," Abigail said softly hugging Alex tightly.

"I don't want to go to sleep again," Alex cried shaking with fear.

"Just calm down, and you can come and watch TV with me." Abigail said doing what she could to calm Alex.

When Alex was barely sobbing she picked him up with one of his blankets and carried him to the living room and sat with him on the sofa.

"Why did she have to try and kill me?" Alex sobbed quietly.

"I don't know Alex, but she's gone now, she's dead," Abigail said softly running her hand through Alex's hair.

Alex cried something Abigail couldn't understand, she knew Alex had been dreaming about when Juanita's aunt had broken his arm, just by the way he was holding it.

"Alex, if you try to get some sleep, I will wake you when your dad rings," Abigail said softly.

"Can I try and sleep out here with you?" Alex asked quietly.

Abigail could see Alex was too scared to be by himself again.

"Ok Alex, just try and get some sleep," Abigail said muting the TV and humming a slow song to Alex. She smiled when she knew he was asleep.

After an hour she gently removed herself from under Alex. Alex whimpered softly in his sleep. She went and made herself a coffee to keep her awake. She could see Alex was twitching in his sleep, she knew he was having a bad dream.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Alex screamed terrified.

Abigail sighed and brought her coffee back over to the sofa.

Alex was drenched in sweat, and as Abigail tried to wake him, she saw him wetting himself.

"Alex, wake up," Abigail said softly.

Alex woke with a start, he sobbed quietly wishing he could have normal dreams like everyone else.

"Did dad ring?" Alex asked hopefully.

Abigail shook her head.

"Alex, you wet yourself," Abigail said tenderly.

Alex noticed that the blanket was soaked in urine and began crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too," Alex cried hysterically.

"I know Alex, it was an accident," Abigail said gently, she knew Alex had no control of it.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again," Alex cried scared.

"Alex it's ok, it wasn't your fault," Abigail said trying to get Alex to calm down, she wasn't sure if Alex was all there.

"Please don't rub my nose in it," Alex screamed wetting himself a little more.

Abigail sat down next to Alex and pulled him up to hug, she didn't care about the pee.

"Did Juanita's aunt do that to you?" She asked softly.

Alex nodded sobbing.

"It was horrible," Alex cried.

"I can understand that Alex, I wouldn't do that to you though Alex." Abigail said softly.

"I thought she was here," Alex sobbed. Alex thought he saw her a lot, he even booby trapped the closet in case she tried to hide in there, unfortunately he didn't tell anyone so Mr Wolff had to rescue Nat who got crushed by everything Alex had set up.

"It's ok Alex, she's dead now, so she can't hurt you anymore," Abigail said quietly.

"I hope so," Alex mumbled quietly.

Abigail just continued to hug Alex, she new she would need to get him cleaned up but she could see how venerable Alex was feeling

They hugged for half an hour before the phone rung. Abigail softly reached over and grabbed it.

"Hey Sonny," She said answering it.

"How was your flight,"

"Yeah, listen before you go to sleep, I think Alex needs to hear your voice," Abigail said, before putting the phone up to his ear. She held it there for a few seconds before Alex clung on to it.

"Hey buddy," Mr Wolff said quietly.

"Hey dad," Alex mumbled quietly.

Mr Wolff could hear that Alex was upset.

"What's up Alex?" Mr Wolff asked softly.

"I had a bad dream, I want a hug…" Alex mumbled.

Abigail hugged Alex tighter when he said this.

Mr Wolff hid a sigh, he could tell Alex wanted them back home.

"Abigail will have to give you all our hugs while we're gone," Mr Wolff said gently. He wasn't sure how Alex would cope over the next couple of weeks.

"I don't want to have nightmares anymore," Alex sobbed,

"Alex, you have the medication to stop them, you just need to take them." Mr Wolff said. He knew Alex didn't like to take them, for the rare night when he had a good dream.

"mmmmm" Alex mumbled dejectedly.

"Alex just remember that Abigail loves you, and she would do anything to help you, ok?"

"Ok dad," Alex mumbled quietly.

"Good boy, you should try and get some sleep so your rested for school tomorrow."

"Ok dad, I love you," Alex mumbled.

"Love you too, night Alex,"

"Night dad," Alex said before hanging up.

"Feel better?" Abigail asked him quietly.

"A little"

"Ok bud, you need to get cleaned up, and then you come and sleep out here with me," Abigail said, she could see Alex didn't want to sleep in his own bed.

The next morning Alex was woken up as Abigail extracted herself from under him. She went to the kitchen and got Alex's medication as he slowly woke up.

"Morning Alex," Abigail said with a tired smile, she had stayed up for the night just in case Alex needed anymore extra attention.

"Morning mom," Alex yawned.

Alex groaned in pain as he stretched and Abigail brought over his medication and gave them too him.

"You ready for Jeremy's party tonight?" She asked quietly.

"It's a sleepover… how 'm I supposed to sleepover?" Alex asked.

"You'll come home for the night and I'll drop you off tomorrow morning," Abigail said.

"But what if…."

"Alex, he invited you to his party, he doesn't care that your in a wheelchair,"

"Thanks mom," Alex said and reached up to give her a hug.


	18. Some Not So Nice Surprises

"Hey Alex, how are you today?" Jeremy's mom asked after school.

"Good, I guess," Alex mumbled quietly as Juanita pushed him over.

"Hey Juanita,"

"Hey Mrs Wallace," Juanita said warmly.

"Shall we get going?" Jeremy's mom asked.

They all nodded.

It was another half an hour before they were at Jeremy's place.

"Hey Jeremy!" Another kid said as they walked in. "Happy Birthday!"

"Hey Colin, you made it," Jeremy said happily.

"Wouldn't have missed it," Colin said with a grin.

"Thanks man, hey, this is a couple of friends, this is Juanita and that's Alex" Jeremy said gesturing to them. "Guys this is my friend from Colorado, Colin"

"Hey," Alex said quietly, he was a little distracted trying to get into his medication.

"Hey man, do you need a hand with that?" He asked watching Alex struggle.

"Yeah," Alex said wincing as he threw the bottle to Colin.

Colin opened the bottle and handed it to Alex.

"Holy Shit! Your Alex Wolff," Colin said a little excited.

"That's what they tell me," Alex said as he took one of his pills.

Juanita just smiled, she knew Alex didn't have the energy to care.

"So how do you know Alex Wolff?" Colin asked Jeremy.

"We go to the same school, but it was because Juanita was helping me settle in." Jeremy said, he was hoping to get to know Alex better.

"Cool, well anyway I got you this present," Colin said, he said handing him over the gift.

Jeremy opened it up and saw it was a customized Denver Nuggets singlet.

"Thanks man,"

"Well you got to come back to Denver so we can watch a game together," Colin said with a grin.

Alex looked at his hands, he felt bad now because he didn't get him a present. Juanita had given him some music, seeing as she really didn't know what he liked.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything," he mumbled

"Alex, we didn't expect you to, your mom explained how difficult it is for you to get out and do everyday things, we're just glad you could make it," Jeremy's mom said.

"But still…." Alex mumbled.

"Your mom knew you would feel bad, she said she would get something for him from you," She said with a smile.

"Come on man, presents aren't that important lets play some games," Jeremy said.

They all had lots of fun playing video games Jeremy's mom brought tea in, they were going to take them out for dinner tomorrow evening.

"MOM!" Jeremy called out panicked an hour an a half later.

Jeremy's mom came running in, to find Alex looking very pale and having trouble breathing. Juanita was trying to calm him down but with no success.

"You need to call my dad," She said urgently, she knew her dad would be the best one to help.

"Abigail I'm so sorry," Jeremy's mom said 25 minutes later as Abigail came in.

Abigail walked in and saw Alex being given oxygen by John, while Juanita tried to calm him down.

"Are you ok Alex?" Abigail said rushing up to him.

"He should be fine. It's just a panic attack," John said quietly as Abigail put her arm around Alex.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened," Jeremy's mom said feeling a little a guilty.

"It's not your fault, from Nat was saying Alex had them a lot after it first happened," Abigail said gently, she could feel how shaken Alex was and could tell it wasn't a pleasant experience for the others.

"I think the best thing for him is to get home and unwind," John said quietly,

"Do you have an idea what set him off?" Abigail asked quietly.

"We were watching Family Guy and they were hitting a pinata, and it just happened," Juanita said, she knew things were difficult enough and although she was able to cope with everything she also knew Alex had suffered far worse.

"If it's alright, I'll see how he's feeling tomorrow and if he's up to it, I can still bring him back. I will give some medication to stop his panic attacks." Abigail said, not wanting his panic attack to ruin the party. She knew that Alex would blame himself if he did. Alex seemed to struggle to comprehend that when things happened to him, it wasn't always his fault.

"It's alright with me," Jeremy said looking a little off color, "We were going to watch a movie tomorrow and I think Alex would like it,"

"It's alright with me then," Jeremy's mom said although she was worried about it happening again.

"Thank you and I'm sorry you had to see Alex like, I know how scary it can be." Abigail said.

Alex was quiet the whole trip home. Abigail could see he was still a bit shaken, but she knew Alex and how angry and disappointed he must be in himself.

"Alex are you ok?" She asked as she wheeled him into the lounge.

Alex didn't look at her, but sulkily replied.

"No,"

"What's wrong then?"

"I ruined his party," Alex sulked.

"No you didn't,..."

"Yes I did, now he is scared of me and his mom is scared of me and they don't really want me to come back," Alex said on the verge of crying.

"Alex, honey, It's not like that. They understand just how hard things are for you. They know you didn't want it to happen, but it is a very scary experience especially for those who aren't used to it." Abigail said softly as she held Alex in her arms.

"Who would want to be friends with useless old me," Alex cried.

"Juanita," Abigail said a bit annoyed, she found it extremely frustrating to hear Alex putting himself down all the time. She tried to hide the frustration she knew that he had very little self esteem and she just wished she knew how to help him raise it. "Jeremy. I know Juanita will definitely be making sure Jeremy doesn't get the wrong opinion of you. She doesn't want you feeling any more isolated than you already do."

"Dad and Nat think I'm useless, that's why they left," Alex said quietly.

"Alex you dad and brother left because you told them you wanted them to go. They both would have passed up the opportunity if you told them you wanted them here."

"I did want them to go." Alex mumbled, he didn't know why he continued with this lie, he knew he didn't want them to go, never in his life would he want them to go, but he didn't want them to have to put up with him.

Abigail just gave him a skeptical look.

"Do you think Nat would want to talk with me?" Alex asked heavily.

"Of course, do you want to talk to him?" Abigail asked quietly.

Alex just nodded.

"Why don't you ring him?" Abigail asked.

"How?"

"Ring his cellphone from yours?"

"I can do that?" Alex asked.

"Alex, me and your father have made sure you can ring anyone of us when you need where ever we are. We know how important it is for you," Abigail explained.

"Thanks mom," Alex said reaching up and giving Abigail a hug.

Abigail hugged him back, she could feel that, he was still feeling angry and disappointed at himself, she just hoped Nat could change that.

"Hey bro," Nat said when he answered.

Alex didn't respond, Nat just heard him breathing, he knew instantly something was plaguing him.

"What's the matter Alex?" He asked quietly.

Alex still didn't answer, he didn't know what he wanted to say.

"Alex, I can't try and help you if you don't tell me whats wrong," Nat said quietly.

"I ruined someones birthday," Alex said angrily.

"What happened?" Nat asked, he was a bit surprised to hear Alex angry.

"I had a stupid panic attack and I scared everyone." Alex fumed.

"Alex you can't blame yourself..." Nat said softly.

"Who said I was blaming myself?" Alex growled.

"Dude, I know you, I know you take everything to heart," Nat said softly.

Alex just growled annoyed, but Nat was used to dealing with Alex like this.

"Alex just think when was the last time you had a panic attack?" Nat asked calmly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Alex growled.

"It just shows how far you've come man, you used to have them everyday. But don't hate yourself because of it. I know it's not fun and I know you take every step backwards badly, but come on bro, you should be proud at how well your doing," Nat reassured.

"What should I be proud of?" Alex asked darkly.

"You hadn't had a panic attack in months, you seem a little bit happier now... you hardly have nightmares anymore," Nat said.

"What planet have you been on, I have them all the time... I had one last night or did dad not tell you...?" Alex asked heavily.

"Alex..." Nat began.

"I just wish I could have normal dreams like everyone else." Alex cried.

Nat felt a bit ignorant, he thought Alex had stopped having nightmares at least for the last couple of weeks.

"I know Alex, but you have been through so much, you should get them soon."

"I'm so sick of hearing that, I didn't want to go through all of that, I don't want to want to have nightmares... I just want things to be like the used to be," Alex sobbed quietly.

Nat couldn't help but feel sorry for Alex. He knew he didn't want this, he knew everyday was a struggle, and he knew there was no way out but through facing everything he wanted to forget.

"I know bro, but I don't think it will ever happen, you just need to try and move forward everyday. I want you to try and go back to the rest of the party tomorrow, I think you will see that you friends will be happy your back." Nat said trying to calm his brother down.

"What if it doesn't work?" Alex sniffed.

"Then they aren't good friends, but if you don't go you will never find out and that will hurts you more,"

"Ok Nat..." Alex mumbled.

"I love you Alex," Nat said softly.

"Thanks Nat, I love you too," Alex mumbled before hanging up. He didn't know what he would do if his brother wasn't there for him.


	19. A Nightmare Come True

**AN: Another Chapter, RR**

* * *

Simon crouched down next to Alex.

"Alex we sent her home, when we heard that your parents died, she didn't need to be here." Simon said softly as Alex glared at him.

"Are they really..." Juanita asked unable to say the word.

Simon just nodded, and Juanita started to sob. Abigail and Sonny had always been good to her, they weren't angry at her for lying to Alex in her letters, and they always cared about how she was going.

"Alex, we're going to go home ok?" Simon said delicately. He was internally kicking himself for not considering that after all Alex had been through he would go into such a aggressive state of denial.

"Might as well seeing as YOU SENT MY TUTOR HOME!" Alex screamed at Simon and pushed all books on to floor and stormed out.

He stormed passed Nat in the hallway who the police officer was comforting.

"Stop your crying THEIR NOT DEAD!" Alex yelled at him.

Juanita watched Alex storm out, before she turned to Simon.

"Can I..." Juanita sobbed.

Again Simon just nodded. Sometimes Juanita could get through to Alex when no one else could.

Eventually they made their way to the car, Juanita sat with Nat and Alex in the back seat. She hugged Nat to try and comfort him, and tried to include Alex who just threw him off.

When they got home, Alex was first out of the car and into the apartment. They could here him calling out for his Mom and Dad as they climbed the stairs, trying not to sound bothered when he got no response or couldn't be found.

"Alex," Juanita pleaded as she walked in their door.

"It's ok, Uncle Miles plane just got delayed... they'll be home soon." Alex said brushing of her concern.

"Alex, their dead, they won't be coming home." Juanita said softly.

"You know Juanita, If you were really my friend you wouldn't be trying to make me fall for this stupid joke," Alex said icily before he disappeared up to his room.

Juanita just bit her lip, as Alex's remark stung, she looked around lost and confused, before turning to Simon and Nat.

"I'm going to call my mom," Juanita sobbed through the tears.

Laura arrived half an hour later, tears stained her checks as she walked through the door.

"How are they taking it," She stammered out, looking around seeing Juanita and Nat crying into each others shoulders as they sat on the couch.

"Nat's devestated, he hasn't stopped crying, hasn't really spoken and Alex... well Alex refuses to accept it, and I think that's hurting Nat too." Simon said softly, "I think Nat want's to comfort and be comforted by the only family he has left.

Laura and Simon both went over and comforted Nat, while Juanita went upstairs to talk to Alex.

"Tell me it isn't true, please tell me it's not true," Rosalina burst through the front door crying, Cooper, Qassim, Thomas and David following her in looking just as upset.

They didn't need an answers and Rosalina just started crying harder as started to walk over to Nat.

Alex started coming down the stairs with his helmet and pads on while carrying his skateboard.

"I'm sorry Alex," Rosalina cried seeing him.

"You can all go home! THEIR NOT DEAD! THIS IS JUST SOME STUPID JOKE!" Alex yelled angrily before brushing roughly past everyone who tried to hug and left the apartment to go skating.

Juanita came down the stairs looking frustrated and upset.

Laura looked at Juanita sadly.

"Give him a little space," was all she could say, she didn't know if it was a particularly good idea to leave Alex alone in case he did acknowledge it, but they all new how stubborn he was.

It was 3 hours later, Jesse had arrived, as had John... Alex burst into the apartment, looking somewhat happy, he had enjoyed his skate.

"GO HOME!" He shouted angrily upon seeing them.

Jesse walked quickly over crying trying to give Alex a hug, but Alex just forcefully pushed her away before he stormed up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Why won't he believe us," Nat sobbed, he wasn't sure what hurt worse, the fact that his parents were gone, or that how badly Alex was taking it.

"I don't think anyone in Alex's shoes would want to admit it. He's been through so much, he's trying so hard to get better, he's not going to let his world crumble around his ears." Simon said softly.

"What do we do?" Rosalina asked sniffing heavily.

"I don't know, he needs to admit it, it's going to eat away him big time, and he needs to say goodbye." Simon said softly.

John disappeared upstairs an hour later, Alex was laying on his bed quietly reading, well pretending to. John could see he was putting all his energy into pretending nothing had happened, simply because the book Alexs was "Reading" was upside down.

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?" John asked softly trying to hide how upset he was.

"I'm sick of this stupid joke. It's not funny." Alex growled.

"How do you know it's a Joke," John asked softly, but trying to sound patronizing.

"I just do," Alex glared at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" John asked softly.

"No," Alex growled.

"Ok, if you need me I'll be downstairs ok?" John asked.

John slowly walked out and Alex didn't so much as bat an eyelid.

Alex eventually just went to sleep, Laura coaxed Nat into bed so he could sleep as well, but in the end he just cried himself to sleep.

Alex woke up and was out the door on his way to school before anyone even realized it, the next morning.

Nat got even more upset about this, just wishing that his brother would accept this.

Mr Johnston was stunned beyond belief when he walked into class and saw Alex at his desk.

"Alex...?" He asked concerned.

"Where's my tutor," Alex growled

"She didn't come into today, we didn't expect you would either." Mr Johnston said worried.

"WELL GET HER IN HERE!" Alex demanded angrily.

Mr Johnston, wasn't sure what to do, he knew Alex really struggled even with the help of tutor, but he shouldn't be here.

"Alex what about your parents," Mr Johnston said delicately.

"THEIR NOT DEAD! IT'S JUST A STUPID DUMB JOKE!" Alex yelled at him.

His classmates just looked at him concerned they had all seen and heard about it on the news.


	20. Dumb Stupid Joke

Simon crouched down next to Alex.

"Alex we sent her home, when we heard that your parents died, she didn't need to be here." Simon said softly as Alex glared at him.

"Are they really..." Juanita asked unable to say the word.

Simon just nodded, and Juanita started to sob. Abigail and Sonny had always been good to her, they weren't angry at her for lying to Alex in her letters, and they always cared about how she was going.

"Alex, we're going to go home ok?" Simon said delicately. He was internally kicking himself for not considering that after all Alex had been through he would go into such a aggressive state of denial.

"Might as well seeing as YOU SENT MY TUTOR HOME!" Alex screamed at Simon and pushed all books on to floor and stormed out.

He stormed passed Nat in the hallway who the police officer was comforting.

"Stop your crying THEIR NOT DEAD!" Alex yelled at him.

Juanita watched Alex storm out, before she turned to Simon.

"Can I..." Juanita sobbed.

Again Simon just nodded. Sometimes Juanita could get through to Alex when no one else could.

Eventually they made their way to the car, Juanita sat with Nat and Alex in the back seat. She hugged Nat to try and comfort him, and tried to include Alex who just threw him off.

When they got home, Alex was first out of the car and into the apartment. They could here him calling out for his Mom and Dad as they climbed the stairs, trying not to sound bothered when he got no response or couldn't be found.

"Alex," Juanita pleaded as she walked in their door.

"It's ok, Uncle Miles plane just got delayed... they'll be home soon." Alex said brushing of her concern.

"Alex, their dead, they won't be coming home." Juanita said softly.

"You know Juanita, If you were really my friend you wouldn't be trying to make me fall for this stupid joke," Alex said icily before he disappeared up to his room.

Juanita just bit her lip, as Alex's remark stung, she looked around lost and confused, before turning to Simon and Nat.

"I'm going to call my mom," Juanita sobbed through the tears.

Laura arrived half an hour later, tears stained her checks as she walked through the door.

"How are they taking it," She stammered out, looking around seeing Juanita and Nat crying into each others shoulders as they sat on the couch.

"Nat's devestated, he hasn't stopped crying, hasn't really spoken and Alex... well Alex refuses to accept it, and I think that's hurting Nat too." Simon said softly, "I think Nat want's to comfort and be comforted by the only family he has left.

Laura and Simon both went over and comforted Nat, while Juanita went upstairs to talk to Alex.

"Tell me it isn't true, please tell me it's not true," Rosalina burst through the front door crying, Cooper, Qassim, Thomas and David following her in looking just as upset.

They didn't need an answers and Rosalina just started crying harder as started to walk over to Nat.

Alex started coming down the stairs with his helmet and pads on while carrying his skateboard.

"I'm sorry Alex," Rosalina cried seeing him.

"You can all go home! THEIR NOT DEAD! THIS IS JUST SOME STUPID JOKE!" Alex yelled angrily before brushing roughly past everyone who tried to hug and left the apartment to go skating.

Juanita came down the stairs looking frustrated and upset.

Laura looked at Juanita sadly.

"Give him a little space," was all she could say, she didn't know if it was a particularly good idea to leave Alex alone in case he did acknowledge it, but they all new how stubborn he was.

It was 3 hours later, Jesse had arrived, as had John... Alex burst into the apartment, looking somewhat happy, he had enjoyed his skate.

"GO HOME!" He shouted angrily upon seeing them.

Jesse walked quickly over crying trying to give Alex a hug, but Alex just forcefully pushed her away before he stormed up to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Why won't he believe us," Nat sobbed, he wasn't sure what hurt worse, the fact that his parents were gone, or that how badly Alex was taking it.

"I don't think anyone in Alex's shoes would want to admit it. He's been through so much, he's trying so hard to get better, he's not going to let his world crumble around his ears." Simon said softly.

"What do we do?" Rosalina asked sniffing heavily.

"I don't know, he needs to admit it, it's going to eat away him big time, and he needs to say goodbye." Simon said softly.

John disappeared upstairs an hour later, Alex was laying on his bed quietly reading, well pretending to. John could see he was putting all his energy into pretending nothing had happened, simply because the book Alexs was "Reading" was upside down.

"Hey Alex, how are you doing?" John asked softly trying to hide how upset he was.

"I'm sick of this stupid joke. It's not funny." Alex growled.

"How do you know it's a Joke," John asked softly, but trying to sound patronizing.

"I just do," Alex glared at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" John asked softly.

"No," Alex growled.

"Ok, if you need me I'll be downstairs ok?" John asked.

John slowly walked out and Alex didn't so much as bat an eyelid.

Alex eventually just went to sleep, Laura coaxed Nat into bed so he could sleep as well, but in the end he just cried himself to sleep.

Alex woke up and was out the door on his way to school before anyone even realized it, the next morning.

Nat got even more upset about this, just wishing that his brother would accept this.

Mr Johnston was stunned beyond belief when he walked into class and saw Alex at his desk.

"Alex...?" He asked concerned.

"Where's my tutor," Alex growled

"She didn't come into today, we didn't expect you would either." Mr Johnston said worried.

"WELL GET HER IN HERE!" Alex demanded angrily.

Mr Johnston, wasn't sure what to do, he knew Alex really struggled even with the help of tutor, but he shouldn't be here.

"Alex what about your parents," Mr Johnston said delicately.

"THEIR NOT DEAD! IT'S JUST A STUPID DUMB JOKE!" Alex yelled at him.

His classmates just looked at him concerned they had all seen and heard about it on the news.


	21. Why did you leave us?

It was three days later, the church was filled with mourners, Nat and Alex were in the front row with Simon, Nat still looked extremely upset while Alex looked more or less indifferent.

Juanita, Laura John and Rosalina, also sat in the front row, with the rest of the band a row behind. Tony Hawk, Joel Madden, George Lopez were seen around the church, and Tony, Alex's friend from the sodaholics at sea trip was there as well.

Alex just fidgeted awkwardly as the priest talked, he was only there because Simon kept on pestering to come. After five minutes Nat and Alex stood up to play some of their songs. They played, if that's not love, why and last Nowhere.

Nat quickly got up and crying went and sat down next to Simon who put his arm around him. Alex lazily got up from his drums, and dwardled his way to the pew. Just as he was about to sit down it hit him. He decided that if he could run from this fast enough none of it would be true... so that's what he did.

Everyone watched a bit stunned as Alex suddenly sprinted from the church. Juanita went to chase after him, but her mom quickly grabbed her arm and looked deep into hers eyes.

"Alex is going to need you now, more than he ever has before," Laura said before letting Juanita go.

Alex sprinted, out of the church and instinctively took a left and kept sprinting, barging past people, charging through traffic until he's sprinted 4 and a half blocks.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alex screamed as he collapsed on the ground, and started bawling his eyes out.

Juanita heard Alex, before she saw him. She pushed past people as she ran over to Alex, she quickly engulfed him in a hug, and tried to comfort him as much as she could. Alex just continued to howl the pain hurting more than any physical pain ever had.

"Is he alright?" A lady asked with two of her children in tow.

Juanita just shook her head.

"Both his parents are dead, and he's only just accepted it." Juanita said quietly as she continued to hug Alex, hoping she was at least giving him some comfort.

Juanita hugged him for 10 minutes without calming him down in the slightest. Laura quickly found them, Alex's pain was more than evident.

"Alex, I know it hurts, I know it's hard... but you need to say goodbye," Laura said quietly.

Alex shouted something at her. She couldn't understand what he said through his crying, but knowing Alex she suspected that it might have been, "I don't want too"

"I know Alex... but you need to," She said softly and as Juanita let go she lifted him up, and held him tightly as he cried into her shoulder. She slowly walked back to the church, and everyone looked on as Laura continued to carry a still hysterical Alex to the front of the church and they could all feel his pain. Laura put him down beside Nat who hugged his brother tightly and cried with him.

Everyone cried, it was painful especially seeing how upset Nat and Alex were.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Alex screamed and cried even harder. Nat felt helpless knowing he couldn't calm his brother and not knowing if there was anything that will ever make it better.

The just cried for another half an hour, Alex quietened down, mainly because he was exhausted, but the pain hadn't let up in the slightest.

"Come on boys, you need to say goodbye." Simon said a delicately ushered them up to the open caskets.

Alex slowly walked over to his dad. He looked at him for a few seconds before he sunk to the floor.

"Why do you leave us?" Alex cried into the carpet.


End file.
